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By DozyDog
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21 September 2006 |
Just a quick post to get the creative juices flowing. Feedback is always appreciated ofcourse. From the edge of sleep comes a solitary thought, a ghostly green blip on inspiration’s radar. Careful not to wake you, I trace its shadow with my pen, drawing its shape through the dream filled night. |
Written by bardo (8 comments posted) 21st September 2006 | | I like it. What were you thinking. have you been taking illegal substances like all great poets? |
Written by Phil (6851 comments posted) 21st September 2006 | I reckon this would make a good opening first verse to a longer piece. Not sure it stands up on its own though.
Really liked the second line.
Phil. | Cheers folks :-)
Written by DozyDog (6 comments posted) 22nd September 2006 | Thanks for your comments guys - it's really great to get some honest feedback and am glad you enjoyed reading my work.
I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you Bardo, but the poem was written on nothing much stronger than Peppermint tea. Must have been the herbs going to my head.
As I am a bit of a minimalist, I've kept this poem quite brief - more of an observation than anything else. Also not sure if I really have that much more to say on the subject of nightly inspiration, but I can see that someone else might :-)
Still not sure about the last line - personally think that could do with some more thought, so might rethink that at some stage.
DD | loveitloveitloveit
Written by no1butClo (339 comments posted) 26th April 2007 | No more to say. you could expand it if you wanted, but I suspect it's one of those things where what follows will never be quite as good.  |
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