READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2006 guests online and 12 members online
Poetry
MOONLIGHT
By JohnnyD
22 September 2006
This poem is dedicated to a beautiful actress, whom I interviewed as a journalist. We became friends and I was really attracted towards her beauty. I have used moonlight as the metaphor for her beauty!


MOONLIGHT

Just like the moon,
You shine so bright
O moonlight…

You have spread a cheer all around
With you radiance & aura
Your beauty & calmness
Your brightness enlightens my dark life!

A life…
That is full of sorrows
My life…
Only if I could understand
You spread…
The happiness in me
Like you do
In this world so selflessly!

I want…
To hold you in my arms
But alas…
Only if I can!

Your radiance…
Is boundless & beauty?
Oh, so soothing!
I am sure you understand
How I feel when I am in your arms!!!

O moonlight…
I love you
I love…
The moon in you

I know…
I can never hold you in my arms
You are boundless beauty
Beauty…
I can only aspire to be with…
All my life!

Johnny D
2nd February 2004


Reviews
What to say?
Written by Talisker (1300 comments posted) 22nd September 2006
I remember an adver that had a refrain: 
 
"Moonlight becomes you, it goes with your hair" 
 
This reminds me of that. I guess its a very personal thing for you - so I won't slate it. There's a lot of angst and possibly sexual frustration in it. I don't want to add to your pain. 
 
One thing though - I don't think any serious writer, let alone a poet should use "&" in their work. It only save 2 characters and looks awful. 
 
Good luck with your journalism and poetry. 
 
oli

Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 22nd September 2006
A personal poem. I'm sure it has resonance for you, but it didn't for me. Perhaps it might be because I've never 'been there.' 
 
Some good ideas I thought, but the odd punctuation kept throwing me. Your dot dot dots (what do you call that?) were perhaps representing thought/indecision, but they broke up the flow. 
 
Sorry to be negative.  
 
Keep posting, 
 
Phil.

Written by william (21 comments posted) 23rd September 2006
It's "who I interviewed"

Written by william (21 comments posted) 25th September 2006
Thanks for your message. Glad to be of help. Sorry I didn't say anything positive about your poem. I didn't need to comment as the rest is very evocative

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item