READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1118 guests online and 3 members online
Shorts
Car
By DieReklamation
24 September 2006
I based this piece off of the photograph used for Peter Gabriel's first solo album. It was challenge to write it without being influenced by the music. The ideas are completely mine.

Car
Inspired by a photograph by Hipgnosis    
Written by: Travis Müller


    The gas tank wasn't completely empty, but he had had enough. Tiny drops of water had  begun to hit the soft colored car that was parked along the side of an open-stretch highway.  The sun was there but was hidden by dark storm clouds that peered over the color-washed  canyon. He let his head be cradled in the leather steering wheel while holding himself,  blocking out the cold. He sat in the middle of the storm hoping that the car would somehow  swallow him, either through implosion or sheer disappearance.
    The car smelled of day-old black coffee and cold, blue leather. The seat belt fit  snuggly around his chest, which was wrapped in a beige sports coat and black sweater vest. He  ran his dirty, tear-stained fingers through his wispy, brown hair before he clutched the  side handle and kicked open the driver's-side-door. Legs covered by greasy, dark-brown pants  began to slowly make its way out car and into the rain. There was nothing particularly  interesting about this slightly stubbled man. He had no glasses to frame his face, no cap to  protect his head, and wasn't wearing any interesting shoes. But at least he was wet. It  wasn't the sort of originality he was searching for, but he took whatever he could get. He  watched raindrops fall onto the dirty highway road like bullets against bone. His pasty-white skin seemed to run down his cheeks when combined with the frigid cold water.
     He sighed and turned away from the mesmerizing canyon and head back into the car. He shut the door, started the ignition, and watched the gas meter fly toward an unforgiving, white "E." He'd only get 20 minutes up the road, but it was worth it. He turned on the radio and headed north, never to return again. He left no clues behind as to why he was driving, but she wouldn't miss him anyway.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6846 comments posted) 23rd September 2006
Another good observation. Well described and atmospheric. Not quite with you on 'sheer disappearance' though. 
 
Phil.

Written by MikeMorris (106 comments posted) 25th September 2006
As Phil says, very atmospheric. Can we sense an untold story behind this story? Are the hints ever going to be made firmer?I hope so.  
Many thanks Mike

Written by Fledermaus (3453 comments posted) 27th September 2006
I agree with the two reactions above: a very good description which gave a clear idea of the situation. But indeed it poses questions and it seems this is only the start of a story. What's going to happen next? and why did he leave her? And why wouldn't she miss him?

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item