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Duchy Originals

By Talisker

26 September 2006

Have you noticed big ears has launched his own range of very expensive products? Some of them are in my Tesco. I like the idea of organic stuff, and i know the profits go to his "charities" - but how to better emphasise the divides in society than by launching a range of products beyond the reach of 95%?

Oli

Thanks for your tasty bacon,

Though it cost a princely fee,

Its nice to know your piggies live,

A better life than me.

Thanks for your ginger cordial,

I’ve sipped a glass or two,

But two damn quid a bottle?

I’d prefer a Special Brew.

Thanks for your chocolate truffles,

I bought them for my Wife,

Cost more than chocolate buttons,

Damn, nearly cost my life!

Thanks for your English Damson Jam,

A pleasure on my toast!

Would I be cheeky to suggest,

Beyond the reach of most?

Thanks for your chestnut mushroom soup,

A carton of delight!

And your organic sausages,

A quid a bloody bite!

Thanks for all the princely fare,

You condescend to sell,

Now stick it up Camilla’s arse,

And take yourselves to hell!

Oli (26/09/06)

Reviews

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 26th September 2006

Thank god for the last verse. I thought you were going a bit soft for moment there.

We ought to be thankful the pair of them are beyond producing children. Can you imagine.... half simp, half horse?

Funny piece.

All the best,

Phil.

i liked this
Written by *tinkerbell* (5 comments posted) 26th September 2006

until it got to the end with the obscenities which i don't think have a place in poetry. i think poetry should be about feelings and beauty, not swearwords. keep trying though, some of your poems are good.

My sentiments exactly!
Written by Clifftown (642 comments posted) 26th September 2006

Except you've managed to put it a little more eloquently than my incredulous "how £*&^!-ing much?!" on mistakenly picking up a D.O. 'Roasted Vegetable and Rosemary' soup in my local Tesco. Had no idea rosemary was in such short supply.

Excellent work.

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