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Comedy
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Buk Fan Phat
By Nearlypastit
18 May 2005

First a warning. The content of this piece may be a bit silly for some.

The following work is a transcript of the very last song performed by the world's most unsuccessful Country and Western Singer '(John) Scud Hankmoore' 

Scud's work was not exactly mainstream and considered offensively fringe by some conservatives in US C&W circles.

An ex US marine in the 60's and 70's Scud died aged 61 just as he was drawing breath, about to sing the last chorus of his seminal anthem 'Buk Fan Phat'.

He'd been touring with a little known UK Rap Artist 'MC Sponge' in a colaboration designed to bring the two starkly unique genres closer together. 

Although you obviously can't here the jangley, twangy sounds of Nashville, you can perhaps gain a small essence of what the man brought to his art from this delicate little tribute.

I should just add that this was an impromptu duet and 'Sponge' who didn't know the piece was being prompted by Scud's manager 'Tank Burgerstein' through one of those ear piece things.

 

 


Buk Fan Phat
By John (Scud) Hankmoore (Sergeant USM ret'rd)

 Scud                                                                         MC Sponge
Main Lyric                                                                 Alternative Rap Backing singer

I got me a gurl back in Nam,                                                  Bitch
I swopped her for chicken, Jack Daniels and ham,                     Bitch
She told me her name was ‘Colin',                                          Bitch
I guess to make me feel at home.                                         Bitch
I had me a world o hurt,                                                        Hang on?
Spent most my days face down in the dirt.                       Do I just keep saying ‘Bitch'?

The bullets were flying, the boys were all crying and napalm was stinging our eyes.

Buk Fan Phat                                                             Seems a bit disrespectful.
What is it you done?                                                             Err Btich!
Buk Fan Phat,
Sing me ya song...and She saaaaaiiiiid!                                                                               

"I sowee Joh I eat'n you dog!"                                     Bi, err no I can't do this!
"I can no helpa ma sewf!"                                            Sound of the street?
"Some thin com get me, I know you mus hate me
Oh and I slept with your dad!"                                      What street?

So poor old Archie was gown!                                  Not my street, where do you live?
Well save for his front legs and wishbone!

He's in heaven, don't mock me,                                   Make som noise!
Not in the fridge with broccoli ,
And God knows I'm now so sad,                 In da house! Homie! Is that a Gay reference?

Altogether:

Oh Buk Fan Phat                                      I don't want a pink brick through
What is it you done?                                my Window, that' all
Buk Fan Phat,
Sing me ya song...and she saaaaaiiid!

"I sowe Joh I give you Fruss"                    

 Uuurggghh!                                              Scud? Scud?

At this point Scud slumped forward over his guitar, groaned and died, never finishing the performance. This lyric sheet is the only record of that appearance.

 

Reviews
Laugh out loud funny
Written by nascent (106 comments posted) 18th May 2005
I liked it a lot. Couldn't imagine where to start to give it a proper crit as it's so different, but the intro is such an integral part of it, that I wonder how it would go as performance? Perhaps for radio where you could give it the set up it deserves? 
 
nascent
Thanks Nascent
Written by Nearlypastit (50 comments posted) 18th May 2005
I have access to musicians and studio so maybe I'll do a demo and put on a down-load site. 
 
Thanks for tip!
respect
Written by kevinrobson73 (371 comments posted) 18th May 2005
it's magnificent 
was this the same guy done "muletrain" 
used to hit himself on the hed with a silver tray
Hello Kevin
Written by Nearlypastit (50 comments posted) 18th May 2005
Mule train eh? Well we now know you're not in your 20's eh?! 
 
I thought I'd dreamt that y'know. I live in The Netherlands so social TV references just earn me a blank dispairing glance of sympathy from my wife. 
 
It's nice to know I'm going senile........ yet.  
 
Actually you've just help me spot a typo.

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