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Poetry
Feather in the Wind
By rilLie
27 September 2006
this was done (can you guess?) during science class.. our teacher was getting on my nerves... i was bored.. the product.  the lullaby thing stanza came from a sentence in this fanfiction (i forgot the title and where i found it. sorry for my primitive memory skills) but i  couldn't get it out of my head, so yeah.. enjoy.

"Where the bloody hell has it gone?"

that is what you ask.

"Our thing, our love, our life, my sweet,"

to answer was my task.


But you are now a lullaby

that I forgot to sing

that fluttered with the clouds overhead,

away, away from me.


You were a feather in the wind,

nature's force carrying you away,

no solution, no explanation

no bloody way.


Our love, Our life was lost

just carried by the air,

no way to keep, to hold on

like a feather light as hair.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6738 comments posted) 27th September 2006
First line of this really caught my attention. Liked the image. (Tighter pattern in first and last worked better for me.) 
 
Phil.

Written by eloquentdukewilson (38 comments posted) 6th November 2006
First- apology for your primitive memory skills accepted. 
 
Someone taking off is usually (not always, cause sometimes you're relieved that they've taken the high road) difficult to deal with, especially when there is  
 
no solution, no explanation 
 
Simple expressions provoking complicated thoughts - thanks for the read.

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 7th November 2006
thank you!!!!!!!!!! 
 
the review button is your friend. 
 
-rilLie

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 7th November 2006
Do you ever get any work done in school?? 
 
I liked this. As with Phil, the tighter stanzas worked better for me. I thought the simple nature of this piece worked really well for the subject matter, letting the reader think a bit too, always good :) Because of that I'll forgive you the green font!  
 
Elli :grin

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 7th November 2006
haha.. thanks.

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