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Shorts
The First Day
By Betsy_Blue
27 September 2006
Hi everyone!

This is a piece of homework from a creative writing course I attended. Our task was to produce a page of writing with the title 'The First Day'.

This is very scary as apart from a couple of my fellow creative writing classmates, I've never shown any of my writing to anyone. Scary wouldn't even be the correct word actually - more like terrifying!!!  Embarassed

So I hope you enjoy it anyway - all feedback is welcome! Laughing




Today was the first day of the rest of my life. My new life. The first day that I could actually think of myself as a normal person, and not a loser or a lowlife or a disgrace to society. Today I could leave my house knowing that nobody would look at me with disgust.

I've actually had people spitting at me before. Spitting with disgust. And I didn't blame them as at the time I despised myself and thought of myself as such a worthless being that I tried to end it all a couple of times. But somehow it never worked. I'm not a religious person but maybe someone didn't want me to die. Maybe there was something keeping me here after all? And maybe that meant I wasn't totally worthless after all.

I looked in the mirror trembling with nerves and anticipation for what I was about to do. I closed my eyes for a moment and took some deep breaths. My heart was racing and I had that horrible panicky feeling that could overcome me if I let it. But today I wasn't going to give in. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone beat me.

I finished applying my make-up and dabbed some perfume on my wrists and behind my ears. The scent made me feel clean. But then I was clean. I'd soaked in a long hot bath that morning and used every kind of soap I could find. In my old life I'd never realised how good it felt to be clean. I suddenly felt a wave of shame at how I used to live. Personal hygiene had been such a low priority to me. For a minute I flashed back to the flat. The pungent rotting odour of that disgusting place we called home. The acrid stench of urine and filth everywhere which felt like it seeped into every pore infecting you like a disease. How could I have ever lived like that?

I shuddered and shook off the memory, stood up and reach for my bag. Today I wasn't going to let myself think about the flat or any of it. Today was a new beginning for me and a second chance to prove that I was as good as everyone else. Today I was going to be normal.

The taxi made itself known outside. I grabbed my jacket, stood up and took one last look in the mirror. I was no longer a gaunt looking, painfully thin, emaciated creature. Instead there was a normal, healthy, smartly dressed woman staring back at me. I smiled for the first time that morning. Today I was finally free.

Reviews
Descriptive
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 27th September 2006
A very descriptive piece, but not realy a story (yet). I don't know if there's a word limit to your homework, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to elaborate: What did she (I asume the main character is female) do this first day, how did people react to her as she was now, did they recognize her? How did she manage to get on track again?  
This is a very interesting theme, and I think that you can make a great story out of it... 
 

Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 27th September 2006
As above. As a description, I liked it. As a narrative it leaves far too many questions unanswered. What was she before? Why? What had changed her? Why? What was her new life etc? 
 
I too think there's a great story in here somewhere. What you've written so far could just be the beginning, it is effective enough - it made me ask all those questions... 
 
Phil.
struck a chord
Written by ellyb39 (79 comments posted) 29th September 2006
Love the thought of normality being important, struck a chord with me. /elly

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