Before the Skerryvore lighthouse started to beam its warnings in 1844, hundreds of lives were lost of teh western coast of Tiree. This is my imagined tale of one...
Wild and lovely Kenavara,
Towering o’er the raging foam,
From your cliffs my bonnie Barra,
Calls my broken heart to home.
Were I but a humble sea bird,
Scarce an hour would see me there,
Often flies my spirit seaward,
On the silent wings of prayer.
In the caves of Kenavara,
Fairy pipers play laments,
Seal songs make the music sadder,
For a heart so badly rent.
By Castlebay I left my lover,
For to fish round Tiree’s shore,
With my father and my brother,
Twixt Travee and Skerryvore.
Overturned amidst a tempest,
Sudden, violent unforetold,
Tossed like flotsam in the sea swell,
Gulping water, sharp and cold.
As towards the ocean’s floor,
Filled with brine my body fell,
Yet my spirit flew once more,
To wish my bonnie lass farewell.
On these cliffs of Kenavara,
Will my spirit ever bide,
Staring o’er the western ocean,
Dreaming of my widowed bride.
We had been but two weeks married,
When the ocean claimed its toll,
Little did she know she carried,
In her womb my unborn soul.
Yet I’ve seen him in reflection,
Stared into my child’s eyes,
Felt in him the resurrection,
Saw in him redemption’s prize.
Oli (29/09/06)
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Beautiful!
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 29th September 2006 |
I have no words... however, without any there would be no review, so I will do my best. I think this is one of the most beautiful, heartfelt, haunting pieces of poetry I have ever read.
I know my reviews may not always be as articulate as some, but every word is from the heart. This piece is truly inspirational, and brought a tear to my eye.
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Written by emilio (12 comments posted) 29th September 2006 |
i see where most of these poets on this website come from. You all are very talented in describing your feelings and deep emotions.
You see, my writings really come from within me, and iam sure you know, you never really truly know another human being so well.
so my writings are in a way meant to be misunderstood
and a feeling of abstraction, that is truly a mind.
i could sound educated and reasonable, but that is being
the human you were brought up to be by schools and society, it's not really the real you though.
each head is a different world oli.
emilio. |
Humble thanks...
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 29th September 2006 |
Lyn, I value your reviews more than most. You are a writer and are clearly in touch with your emotions. I'm proud that you like some of my work.
Emilio, all very good. But this must be the strangest review I've received to my work. For what its worth, I have enjoyed your postings, they are different and challenging. I believe you are only 17 years old - I don't wish to patronise, but your style may change through the years. I can write obtuse, experimental things as well - this isn't one of them - its a love story in verse - pure and simple. Poetry is a "broad church".
Oli. |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 29th September 2006 |
I think I've probably said this before of your poetry, but I'll say it again: this sounds fantastic read aloud. I envy your mastery of pattern in verse. I don't know if it comes naturally to you, but you never seem to miss.
On top of all that you've woven a beautiful and moving story into it all. Pattern is nothing without meaning.
All the best,
Phil.
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wonderful
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 1st October 2006 |
Another work displaying your marvellous talent. Your poems flow so effortlessly i'd swear they come straight out of you this way, no editing needed. A poem spun from silk.
I will repeat what has been said above in that it is haunting, and depicted so wonderfully i could hear the ocean. I swelled with the words as i read. Very 'scots' but not over the top, just enough for me to loose myself in the atmosphere for a momment. I physically reacted to this, it moved and lost me so much. I felt every word.
I could hear this aloud; i could hear it like a song. A beautiful read i am sure i will read over and over again, and will stay with me for time to come.
I can see this studied in schools one day.
Just wonderful!
Thanks Oli  |
Thank you both Phil & Gill
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 1st October 2006 |
You are a large part of my inspiration - your encouragement is priceless to me. I am humbled by your praise and feel totally unworthy!
All my respect and love to you both!
Oli |
My two penn'orth ..........
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 1st October 2006 |
......... and probably overpriced at that!
Nonetheless, I was caught up and carried along from the very beginning - and there isn't a lot of poetry can do THAT!!
I felt the steady, regular beat of the rhythm was perfect: neither too unobtrusive, nor too heavy but "just right"
Thank You!! |
Bagheera...
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 1st October 2006 |
Your two penn'orth is like a kings ransome to me!
God bless you for your kindness...I write to ease depression - you help.
Oli. |
Written by devscribbler (10 comments posted) 4th October 2006 |
| It is the best poem that I have read so far in this site. You do have an amazing range. But why are you limiting yourself to this site? You should try and get your works published. |
Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 17th January 2008 |
| Oli, I've only just seen your poem. I guess I was away perhaps when it came on GW. It is lovely beyond words, and I really mean that. I especially love the rhythm that you have going through this poem for it fits the piece beautifully. I can see that you have already had lots of good reviews. You deserve them. |
Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
I've just read the poem and the reviews and everything that I say is going to sound terribly unoriginal and redundant, but this is a beautiful piece. The verses were fluid and poweful, the rhymes did not sound forced. That's a trap a lot of rhyming poems fall into; sounding like the poem was written around the rhyme, and ending up looking like the poem bent over backward to contort into the rhyme scheme. You artfully navigated around that trap and it seems like you didn't have a hard time doing it. But then again, masters of an art form always make it look easy.
~Meri |
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