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Poetry
If I Were You Man, I would Take Heed And Leg It!
By spiderbaby49
20 May 2005

Strange title, yep. Got a better one, tell me then!!!!!!!!!!!

Was reading Vernon God Little so still in the 'idiom' as it were, when I wrote this at two in the morning last night, if ya see what I mean?


 
You won't catch me
sobbing into my pillow,
no f****n' way
no siree bob.
I'll rationalise, internalise,
lay awake and fantasise
'bout  sweet,
serve it in tureen with a silver ladle,
R.E.V.E.N.G.E.
 
You won't find me
dawdlin' in your street.
The hell I will.
Ain't no wuss.
S**t, my eyes ain't streamin
cos they's visualisin'
an I'm schemin
up ways
to make you P.A.Y.
 
You jus' better
lace your runnin shoes
a****le, get on
down that road .
Shoulda tole me 'bout ya wife,
ya other life. Now,
my daddy's huntin knife
gonna help me show ya
what C.U.T.U.P. means.
 
 

Reviews

Written by Clodagh (29 comments posted) 21st May 2005
oh I like this a lot- great flow and great use of rhyme ;) I have no critique as I think it's a finished product- nice one ;) 
 
P.S. Is vernon god little good? I bought it a few months ago but was too busy with exams to read it
If I were he...
Written by deprecor (6 comments posted) 21st May 2005
Damn! I thank God I am not that guy... 
 
I agree, the title is weird, but I couldn't think of any other.  
I like the natural rhyme and verse, the everyday jargon mixed with this kind of thing... "rationalise, internalise, 
lay awake and fantasise". Nice piece! 
:grin
Thanks
Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 23rd May 2005
Clodagh and Deprecor.  
 
I read Vernon God Little in two days. It's an amazing, breakneck speed book, fantastically written book in which the 'voice' of the main character i s engaging and compelling. 
 
I still had the story and the place ringing in my head when I wrote this poem. 
 
After I wrote it I had a revelation about what everyone had been saying about finding the 'voice' of a piece. 
I always try to get empathy for my subject but this is one fo the few occasions where I found myself totally immersed in my subject's head. 
 
Proves that 'reading, reading, reading' can, indeed, be a key to unlocking the muse in one's self. 
 
Thanks for the reviews. 
 
Ali
stormin
Written by kevinrobson73 (390 comments posted) 6th June 2005
n i s..t you not 
can be delivered so many different ways 
but i think it's an angry rap performance piece best 
suggest title  
"R.E.V.E.N.G.E" or "you done me wrong and now... you're gonna pay" or "i hope you got life insurance"

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