A man yesterday was reprimanded in custody when neighbours found the man drinking Fosters beer. The man, Mr Keith Payne, 43 was put under citizen's arrest by neighbours Irene Lizboutakis,36 and her husband George Lizboutakis,39. "We were just doing what any Australian would do in a situation like this." Neighbour Mazza Duke had this to say:
"You always had to be careful of that fella. The bloke doesn't even eat sauce with his pie, now I find out he's drinking Fosters of his free will. We gotta protect kids from this kind of antisocial behaviour." Calls from the community have been "lock him up and throw away the key", "unaustralian", "a bloody disgrace and a half". One neighbour went as far to call it a "blatant act of terrorism".

Authorities were contacted and a raid of the Payne home occured last night at 11:45 pm.

"Upon further inspection of the household, we've uncovered terrorism related paraphenalia. We in New South Wales do not tolerate terrorism in any form, so we must work swiftly."

 Items uncovered in the raid of great interest were various issues of Time magazine with Sadaam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden on the front cover, a cookbook "10 great middle eastern dishes, guaranteed to blow your guests away", an atlas that has the flags of Iraq, North Korea and Yemen, tea towels and a fridge magnet with the terrorism hotline highlighted.

"We're absolutely distraught on what we've uncovered. The dead give away was the terrorism hotline magnet. Nobody in this country even cares about those things, and this man has it on his fridge, and highlighted for god's sake. We knew before we began this investigation we were looking for a possible terrorist. The accused drinks Fosters beer! Outrageous. This country will not be ripped apart from the inside." NSW police commisioner Ken Morroney spoke at a press conference this morning.

 The BPS, Bogan Protection Society are outraged as well. For many years, they have been working to have Fosters beer removed from shelves. Spokesman Larry Newcolm says :

"We've warned the bloody government for years about the consequences of selling Fosters beer. Now it's too late. How are we to protect the culture of this country when we have these beer giants throwing their piss our way? For christ's sake mate, it's not even good piss!"

 Mr Payne had this to comment: "I'm not a terrorist, if I choose to drink Fosters beer, then that is my choice. I'm just as Australian as the next bloke. What can I say about the atlas, it's pure coincidence, pure coincidence."

No official court date has been set, but authorities are confident it will be a long drawn out case wasting million of taxpayers dollars.