D lillah is translated as the doorway to night
Striding from the towering gates of dawn
with ringleted hair flashing the sunlight's gold ,
fulfilling the fate for which he had been born ,
beginning the cycle that would soon unfold .
With Yahweh's hand forever on his shoulder
he sought among the conquerors for a bride ;
the strength within him made him ever bolder
to bring to nothing all their arrogant pride.
At height and heat of noon he met and slew
the mightiest of beasts , all tawny gold ,
And from its strength another strength he drew
the sweetness of the honey its corpse would hold.
A riddle for the thirty groomsmen set
led to betrayal by his alien bride .
His fiery vengeance was the fate they met:
Their summer crops a harvesting denied .
But finally there came another gate
where the darkness of the night betrays the sun:
D lillah spread her thighs and sealed his fate
to labour in the mill , his strength undone .
No jawbone of an ass to use as blade ;
chained to the pillars in shameful degradation,
There in the temple his final choice was made
to bring to death the noblest of a nation.
From gates of dawn through noonday's heavy heat
the sun has passed with slowly fading light
to the gates of evening with his task complete
he sinks into the void of death and night .
|
Example... Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 3rd October 2006 |
I enjoyed this, Brian. OK. Not your best; but as always neatly written and making the words work for the sense. If only poets did the same!! Slan! |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 3rd October 2006 |
I really enjoyed this, as with all your work. The first and last verses are particularly powerful for me. Elli |
I blame Gerard ! Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 3rd October 2006 |
I think , though I'm not sure, that it was he who planted the burr in my brain with a reference to Samson. I researched Samson a trifle , to run across the theory that he was the equivalent of a sun god. From then on it was all confusion : a line or two tossed down on TextEdit - new angles explored -- changed rhymes , changed vocabulary -- leading to a dread desire to get rid of the damned thing -- so finally I gave up as it got more and more mechanical . It's up there now and finished with , I hope However , thanks for the comment ( one friend described it as a bit Victorian -- rue enough -- I meant to write *true* but *rue* will do. Thanks to you too, Elli. patterjack
|
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 3rd October 2006 |
With Elli on this. The first, and particularly the last, are powerful. All the best, Phil. |
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 4th October 2006 |
As usual, agree with Eli and Phil. I loved how you bookend the poem with the opening ad closing of the gates. My favourtie lines being the last of stanzas one and seven. Beautifully written. |
Loverly... Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 4th October 2006 |
As always PJ. My younger brother in the flesh, by far my senior in the muse... A story of Samson and no direct reference to the shearing of his locks? I got mine cut yesterday and feel as weak as a lambkin today. I would like to read something of yours without classical references. Refer me dear boy to a piece...! Oli |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.