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Poetry
Just a Thought
By JourneyAtNight
05 October 2006
Don't even know if you could call this poetry, just a line of thought that I wouldn't dare put into prose form. 

Nothing too deep, just some more drivel I had to get out there!

E x


If I was the person I want to be
Would I be content?
Would I be relieved of this brick of truth?
This heavy load pulling me away,
Down away from the shelter of petty dreams
Grounding me to reality
A constant reminder to move on
To let those clouds around my head,
Drift by without me
Even though my heart refuses.

Or maybe I'll still be carrying a weight
Only a different form -
A rock perhaps,
Smooth
But heavy nonetheless. 

Maybe life,
Whether I'm me
Or her,
Will always have its burdens.



Reviews
Will life always have its burdens?
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 5th October 2006
I think it will, but there are the fun bits inbetween. 
 
This isn't drivel at all. I think it's a really good idea as a subject and well written. If you're unhappy with it, I think it's certainly worth some development. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1786 comments posted) 6th October 2006
I pretty much agree with Phil here, you've got a nice concept for a poem here and definitely worth developing. 
 
Well done 
 
Elli

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