Yesterday in a press release MP Boris Johnson admitted he sometimes asks some of his constituents to modify their clothing as well. He justified it today a by saying


“Oh hello, where’s the camera, Oh right it’s there, is it on… now what was I saying. Yes. Well you see,  how's my hair? It’s all a fuss about nothing, really. I mean, well…Ohmygosh..It’s just that I’ve been asking some of my constituents to cover up, you know put a balaclava on or sack over their heads.
I mean…well some of them are just so unbelievably ugly…well talk about visual pollution. You can’t believe how distracting it is trying to concentrate when you got Frankenstein’s ugly sister in front of you. And I’ve got it all day. I mean just look around you, this is Henley for God’s sake. There are some frightful old trouts wondering round. Have you been round waitrose of a morning. They just don’t care.
 
Before you take this all the wrong way I want to say  I use all my tact and diplomacy… I mean well…ohmygosh I just say something like
 “Look dear unless you want a lap full of vomit put this sack on”
 We even provide bags and sacks  and some of dog-faced regulars have taken to bringing their own. No-one’s complained. I mean what’s all the fuss about,,bloody hell  just think... for heavens sake; if old Jack Straw can piss of the towels heads and get away with it I don’t see why I should get fatwa from the Henley WI.  He should really count his blessings that they want to cover themselves up. Well OK some of them get a bit miffed but they’re lucky to have someone so bright, clever and intellectual representing them, and they know it ;now if one of you will just point out which is my house I’ll go and start my surgery.