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By Snodlander
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08 October 2006 |
Scotland win a game of football.
Against France!
I'm sure the Scots here will take this in the spirit it was meant. They have a grand sense of humour. I mean, they enter the World Cup every time. The stock market was reeling this afternoon following McDougal's Corner Shop buyout of supermarket giant Tesco. "I have been thinking of expanding my shop for some time now", said Mr McDougal. "Moving the counter to the wall by the door really worked for me, and it was only a matter of time before I added more premises. Of course, buying Tescos was a dream, but the accountants worked really hard, we made the most of our chances, and at the end of the day the bid was accepted, which is what really counts. Aye, I'm over the moon." A spokesman from Tesco claimed that the Monopolies Commision was far too slow in returning their report following McDougal's bid, and that that gave McDougal an unfair advantage, but the result still stands. McDougal's now go on to bid for Asda. |
And why not!!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 8th October 2006 |  I remember when ahh wur nobbut a lahd .... my father was a trainee manager for a grocer's chain (local) before any of the supermarkets were really big players (c. 1960+/-).
He had a book of the "self-help" type in which the central character, Sam, did exactly what you refer to by "Moving the counter to the wall by the door"
According to the book, this was EXACTLY what a manager intending to be successful should do .... good advice from the '60s, apparently still works today!!
Thoroughly enjoyed the deadpan humour of your piece! |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 8th October 2006 | Enjoyed this and it got me thinking. If stuff like this were true, it might be the beginning of the end for our awful homogeneous out of town retail parks. I can just see thousands of Arkwrights packing up at the end of the day. One with a stutter, one with a limp, one with an eye patch etc etc. It's been a funny old day....
All the best,
Phil. | Nonsense!
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 9th October 2006 | There are no corner shops in Scotland under the ownership of an ethnic Scot!
We are all too hungover to open for the early papers and in the pub by lunchtime - so we sold all our shops to Asians - who do a jolly fine job of using them as a cover for drug money laundering and arms smuggling.
However, would he change the name to MacTesco?
Oli. |
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