So, that’s it then. All over.
It was a lot easier than I had thought. Not that it had been planned or anything.
Would they believe that? Doubt it.
I guess we’d both been too careful to keep it all hidden way. All the dirty, grimy bits of our life together neatly parcelled up and secreted away in a dark place somewhere. We had both had our own reasons for keeping everyone else at arm’s length, and now it was about to blow back in my face. Well, more fool me.
I looked around the room in which I sat. Always so clean and tidy, my sitting room was barely recognisable as the place in which we had spent countless hours travelling through our marriage. A curtain had been ripped from its rail and now lay pooled on the carpet like a discarded dress, while a table sat at a drunken angle against the arm of the sofa. Red wine still dripped lazily down the wall towards shards of broken glass that was scattered on the carpet and glinted in the sunlight that shone unhindered through the now-bare window.
I should get up and tidy the mess away. If I could just get to my feet and get a bin liner from the kitchen, then everything could get back to normal. I could wrap up the pieces of glass carefully in newspaper, clear all the debris into the bin, wash the wall. Once the curtains were back up everything would be ok again. I might have to scrub the carpet a bit though by the looks of it.
If I could just get up and make a start.
Perhaps in another couple of minutes I would get my breath back. I’ll just sit here for a while longer, and then I’ll make that start.
Through the undraped window I could see the sun was going down fast. It would soon be dark and I wanted the curtains back up before I had to turn the light on. Couldn’t let the neighbours think we live in a mess can we?
I could wrap the knife up with the glass, maybe even take it to work with me tonight and drop it into a litter bin in the high street. Just another piece of rubbish in the landfill.
I looked at the clock sitting on the bookshelf to my right, but I couldn’t make out the time. It was dark already. I must have been asleep. So cold now too. My eyelids felt heavy, and my arms were useless lead weights. Perhaps I could snuggle up to Gary to get some warmth, but he hadn’t stirred at all for ages. He must have been so tired after our fight. But this time I had fought back and I had a feeling I wouldn’t have to hide my bruises anymore. If I could just lay next to him and sleep awhile, I would have the strength to get up then. Perhaps we would even laugh about all this when he woke up and he could help me clear all this mess away.
Still he didn’t move. I couldn’t even hear the sound of him breathing, but I’m sure I would if I lay against him. The carpet would be dry if I cuddled into his back. Not like the carpet where I sat now. Besides, I was getting uncomfortable propped up against the table leg.
I tried to pull myself along the floor to get to where Gary lay, but for some reason my body didn’t want to move. My arms felt heavy, my legs leaden and useless. I was cold and the refuge of sleep beckoned.
As my eyes began to close I couldn’t help smiling.
No more bruises.