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Poetry


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girly poem

By kerry1983

10 October 2006

my first shot at poetry, about my deepest, darkest obsession

A clean surface is essential,
Smooth and even preferrential.

Starting with only good foundations,
Produces all the best creations.

Outlining and blending precisely,
Will highlight the features nicely.

Shading in with dark and pale,
Will ensure that you cannot fail.

Vibrant colours may be fruity,
But can enhance the natural beauty.

To finish, paint and gloss the lips,
And please enjoy my beauty tips.

Reviews

Yes...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 10th October 2006

Ah, the old warpaint. I use polyfilla myself - to cover the cracks. As for lippy, I find it smears on my beer glass.

Oli :grin

Constructive criticism:
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 12th October 2006

Kerry, this is a good poem for your first one. I think that the title could be improved on. eg: The New Face - or My Face Creation. Preferential has only one "r". You are slightly out on your rhythm sometimes. eg: Second verse: It would be better: Starting with a good foundation - will produce a good creation. (2 beats to a line). Vibrant colours etc. Then: Can enhance (1) the natural beauty (2). I like your topic and the words that you have chosen to use. Work on your rhythm and it will be perfect. Good try.

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