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Poetry


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The Great Celestial Teapot

By Talisker

10 October 2006

This is my homage to Richard Dawkins - a hero and fellow atheist.

He has suggested that it is just as likely that The Great Celestial Teapot exist as a god as understood by the established religions.

All praise to thee Celestial Teapot!

Thy handle, lid and spout of gold.

Our mouths to desiccation lead not,

And make our tea not weak nor cold.

Oh hear, great Teapot, this petition,

From thy humble servant’s breast,

Grant this unworthy throat remission,

This pot, these bags, this water bless.

As we sing these incantations,

Supplicate before thy spout,

Lead us not into temptation,

Coffee, wine or Irish stout.

Tetley, Typhoo, and Nambarrie,

Send your flavour flooding out.

All the taste that you can carry,

Down the pot and out the spout.

O Holy Teapot these entreaties,

From your humble priest receive,

Bestow again your sacred tea please,

Refresh us Teapot, who believe!

So now I make this humble offer,

In this water leaves infuse,

To this poor pot assistance proffer,

This tea distil like amber dews.

We ask this Great Celestial Teapot,

In true and reverential awe,

In arid dryness leaveth us not,

As we obey your sacred law.

Amen.

Oli (10/10/06)

Reviews

Two sugars please.
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 10th October 2006

Quicker and far more erudite than I Oli - so I'll give up my poor attempt; for now anyway.

Enjoyed very much. Not taking the p*** when I say this, but I read this in Hawkin's voice - fantastic. A whole new genre, electo-verse.

This is poetry.

All the best,

Phil.

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 10th October 2006

Of course, that should be: electro-verse.

Thanks Pip!
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 10th October 2006

But its Dawking, not Hawking! Hahahahah... :grin

At least you made me laugh!!!! That robotic voice, brilliant!

Bless your misconception!!

Oli.

hallelujah brethern
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3449 comments posted) 10th October 2006

Anything dedicated to Dawkins is bound to get effusive praise from me. I think the great man himself would read this and smile as did I. A nicely judged little offering.
I just hope you haven't done too good a job and find you have started a Great Teapot cult somewhere out in cyber space.
cheers
BBS

I meant Dawkins...
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 10th October 2006

You've got me doing it now - I made a hellish hybrid there! :grin

Whoops
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 10th October 2006

What a divvy I am. That'll teach me to read carefully - and think.

Bless my cotton...

All the best,

Phil.

My compliments too...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 10th October 2006

Lovely business, Lovely Boy. And not a tosspot in sight! Not your best; but quickest off the mark and way ahead of whatever is in second place.

Incidently if you want to read a priceless lampoon of the humbug that pases for religious evangelicalism, go back a few months on the Short Stories site and read Iehoma's ' Pastor Saul Bottomsup'. As near as dammit one of the sharpest pieces of writing I have come across there. Nice to see it coming from an African contributor too.

Well done.

Slan!

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