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Extended Work
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| Confessions of a site secretary - part 12 | |
| By teddy | ||||||||
| 11 October 2006 | ||||||||
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Any feedback most appreciated. For the last couple of months things had seemed to have gone back to normal, well, as normal as they could be under the circumstances. Until last night. Ok, there had been two minor incidents that threatened to quake my peace once again. However, I managed to overcome them quite boldly. After her first message, Louise didn’t stop there. She sent me a second and then a third one. She must’ve been well hacked of by my silence. By the end of the week, my email inbox was full with her poisonous epistles. And they weren’t all ‘sweetheart’ and ‘my dear Adi’ anymore. She started quite smoothly with ‘a crafty cow’ and ‘slyest person I’ve ever met’ only to finish by Friday afternoon with ‘a fucking bitch’ and ‘I hope you’ll rot in hell, you stupid ugly tart.’ Now, that was too much even for a tolerant person like me. So I decided to give her the satisfaction of a reply. ‘Louise, why don’t you fuck off, eh? Paul and I had a proper relationship, with you it’ll never be anything more than a one off, exactly what you asked for, isn’t it? It’s not my fault that he didn’t fancy you, if you’ve got a problem with that, why don’t you go and question him, but please, stop fucking sending me your stupid messages.’ I was just about to press the ‘send’ button when I suddenly felt sorry for her. At the end of the day, she was supposed to be my mate and I never told her about my relationship with Paul. She must’ve been hurt when she found out. Bur above all, I knew that Paul had never asked her out again. Because if he had then her emails would’ve had a totally different content, I was sure about that. So it was no point in me upsetting her even more. Mark didn’t let things go to rest either. After we last saw each other he kept trying to ring me. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore so I didn’t answer any of his calls hoping that in the end he’ll give up. But I was wrong. ‘Hello, gorgeous.’ he tried to hug me one evening as I stepped out of the site reception. I instantly pulled away. ‘What on earth are you doing here, Mark? I thought I told you to leave me alone.’ Now I know Mark and it took me just one single gaze at him to realise that he was drunk. ‘I’ve missed you, babe. I just wanted to see you.’ he took my hands into his and tried to kiss them. I pushed him back. ‘Go away, Mark. I don’t want to see you.’ Unfortunately, that was exactly the moment when George’s car was reversing into the small parking space on the opposite site of the road. He must’ve noticed the scene because he jumped out of his car at once. ‘Is everything alright, Adi?’ George asked concerned as he approached us. Mark looked at him confused and then back at me. George was probably the last person he would’ve expected to see there. ‘What the fuck is he doing here, Adi?’ Mark asked annoyed at first. ‘Please don’t tell me,’ he nastily laughed a second later. ‘you shagged his mate and now you’re trying him on as well? Keeping the business in the family, aren’t you?’ Now, that was out of order. George’s probably the calmest person I’ve ever met but that time his face went absolutely incensed. ‘Back off, Taylor’ he pointed an angry finger at Mark ‘I’m warning you, leave her alone.’ I could see Mark’s face getting discoloured, I knew he wouldn’t let anyone get away with anything like that. But neither was George. And they were both just as determined and fit as each other, a confrontation between them two would’ve been a real disaster. I couldn’t let that one happen so I had to step in quite rapidly. ‘Mark, stop there.’ I kept him at arms length while putting a calming hand on George’s arm. ‘George, please, let me deal with this.’ ‘Are you sure, Adi?’ he asked worried. I didn’t think he fancied the idea of leaving me alone with Mark, especially in the state he was in. ‘Trust me, George, I’ll be ok.’ I reassured him. I knew I could handle Mark, I’ve done it many times before. ‘Give me five minutes please.’ ‘Ok.’ he consented anxiously still. ‘I’ll be in the car if you need me.’ ‘Ok, thanks.’ I tried to whisk his worries away with a smile. After George was gone I turned back at the culprit. ‘What the fuck’s wrong with you?’ I raised my voice at Mark. ‘So, tell me the truth, Adi’ his sad smirk ignored my question ‘is he your new lover boy?’ ‘For God’s sake, Mark, look at me, I’m five months pregnant, how the hell can you even think about that? You’re sick. George’s just a friend, a really good one. That’s exactly what I need at the moment, not the hassle you’re giving me.’ I snapped at him disgusted by his insinuations. ‘Can you go now, please?’ Mark looked at me distraught. ‘There was a time when you wanted me around, Adi.’ he said reproachfully. ‘When you used to come to me and ask me to hold you tight so you could cry your eyes out in my arms, remember? I was good enough then, wasn’t I? Now you don’t need me anymore ....‘cos you’ve got him, haven’t you?’ ‘It’s nothing like that, Mark. I told you, George’s a friend. With you it’s different. We’re not good together and you know that. We could never be just friends, we tried it before and it didn’t work, don’t you remember? You’ve got a family to think about and all I want is to get on with my life. But only that you don’t let me to, can’t you see it?’ I felt my eyes getting soaked. ‘Why can’t you just leave me alone, Mark? I don’t really need this right now.’ He kept quiet for few moments watching me. ‘Ok, Adi, if this is what you want, then I will, I promise.’ he said miserably. I looked at him: did he mean it this time? His eyes seemed sincere. ‘Can I give you a hug before I go?’ he begged. ‘Ok, just a little one.’ I gave him permission. I wasn’t too sure if George would agree with that but I thought Mark deserved it. He put his arms around me and buried his face into my hair. ‘I love you, baby, I really do.’ he whispered remorsefully in my ear. ‘I’m sorry for making you so unhappy. I’ve never meant to upset you, you have to believe me…’ What was he going on about now? I couldn’t believe he was telling me that. Not Mark, he might get a bit soft sometimes but not that soft. ‘I promise I’ll never bother you again, Adi.’ he carried on. Then he took my face into his hands and for a split of a second I nervously thought he’s gonna try to snog me again. But he didn’t, he just gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek, then let go of me and walked away. ‘Mark.’ I called him. He turned around. ‘Take care of yourself.’ I said. ‘You too, baby.’ he pulled a brave smiley face winking at me. ‘Sorry to keep you waiting.’ I apologised to George when I got in the car. ‘That’s ok, Adi. Are you alright?’ he looked at me concerned. ‘Yeah, I suppose.’ That was another chapter of my life closed and for some reason I was feeling sad. ‘What did he want anyway?’ George asked. ‘Nothing, just to see me. He’s not gonna come back though, he promised.’ George reversed the car silently back into the road. ‘He really likes you, Adi, doesn’t he?’ ‘Dunno, he reckons so.’ I answered distracted. Did Mark really mean what he said? Well, ok, I knew he liked me but not that much. ‘I think you made the right decision by asking him to stay away. Having him around wouldn’t help.’ ‘I know.’ I agreed. ‘Listen, Adi, why don’t you stay over at mine tonight?’ George suggested. ‘We can grab a Chinese takeaway on the way home and then we could watch …errrmmm…let me think, perhaps ‘Gone with the wind’ …for the tenth time?’ he smiled. He knows I absolutely adore that movie, I’ve probably watched it ten times and read the book about six. ‘Tomorrows’s Saturday so you can have a lie in. I’m sure Tina wouldn’t mind.’ he carried on. Of course she wouldn’t. She knows I’m well looked after when I’m with George. If we stay out late on a Friday or Saturday evening I often end up sleeping in one of his spare bedrooms, to which George actually refers as ‘yours’. I like staying at his, he’s got a rather posh and quite spacious three bedroom flat in a nice and quiet area in Highgate. And somehow he always manages to make me feel at home. Once there he’d run me a hot bath and let me soak the day’s fatigue away. ‘Adi, do you want me to pop a bag of popcorn in the microwave?’ he knocks in the bathroom’s door after awhile checking up on me, making sure that I’m alright. He knows that munching the crunchy kernels is one of my favourite activities while watching the telly. ‘Yes, please.’ I’d shout thankfully with my head half immersed in the scented bubbled water. Ten minutes later I’m all curled up on sofa wrapped in one of his dressing gowns, with a big bowl of freshly puffed up popcorn in my arms, hands busy stacking up the mouth and eyes highly concentrating on the movements displayed on the huge TV plasma screen hung on the opposite wall. George sits next to me and from time to time throws me quick amused looks. ‘Do you want one?’ I ask when I catch his gaze. ‘No, thanks, you can have it all.’ ‘Of course you do.’ I decide to ignore his refusal. ‘Adi, stop it.’ he laughs as my hand tries to force a overblown kernel in his mouth. In the end he gives up. ‘Yuck! This tastes disgusting.’ he teases me with a funny grimace while chewing the intruder away. ‘No, it doesn’t.’ I argue pretending to be offended. ‘Take it back if you don’t want to end up eating the rest of what’s left in the bowl.’ He keeps laughing. He looks happy and, in these moments, so am I, all relaxed and free of worries. It seems that George has that effect on me, with him around things look simpler than they actually are. Sometime I feel guilty for taking up so much of his time. Ok, he’s now a regular guest at Tina’s Sunday roasts but I never ask him to take me out, he’s always the one to offer. And I can’t refuse him ‘cos I really enjoy being with him. I mean, after Tina, he’s my closest friend and this is what friends do, don’t they, spending time together. However, sometime I wonder why he doesn’t start dating other women, he’s caring, intelligent, good looking, I’m sure he’d have no problems finding himself another girlfriend. I just hope that it’s not me stopping him. Well, I know that when he’ll find someone I won’t see that much of him anymore and I’ll definitely miss him but I really want him to be happy. Last week we were in a restaurant one evening waiting to be seated. A group of four women were drinking next to us at the bar and one of them kept throwing George provocative looks. She was quite attractive. I think he noticed her attention as well. ‘See,’ I said ‘if you weren’t with me you could’ve pulled her.’ ‘What are you talking about, Adi?’ he innocently pretended not to understand. ‘That bird in front of us. I think she fancies you.’ ‘Adi!’ his face put on a fake indignation. ‘Oh, you know exactly what I mean.’ I defended my jargon. ‘Oh, well, bad luck, isn’t it?’ he teased me. ‘Because I’m stuck with you tonight.’ ‘Very funny.’ I smirked at him. Anyway, last night when I got home from work Tina had news for me. ‘Your parents rang.’ she said. ‘Oh ok. Are they alright?’ I asked a bit concerned. ‘Of course they are.’ Tina reassured me. ‘They’re coming to England next week.’ she dropped the bomb. ‘What?’ I asked absolutely shocked. ‘Well, they miss you. They’re worried about you as well. So they decided to come over for a week. I thought you’ll be happy to see them.’ ‘I am, of course, but you know how they are, especially dad. He’ll start questioning me about the baby and the father and all that, you know how he is. What am I going to tell him?’ ‘Oh, don’t worry, we’ll come up with something.’ she tried to calm me down. I had nearly the same conversation with George today when he took me out for lunch. ‘What’s wrong with you, grumpy sod?’ he asked when he saw my miserable face. ‘Nothing, my parents are coming over next week.’ ‘Is that a reason to be unhappy?’ he asked curious. ‘Shouldn’t you be pleased to see them?’ ‘Well, yes, …and no, they’ll start asking questions about this.’ I pointed to my inflated tummy. ‘Oh Adi, don’t tell me that they don’t know about it.’ ‘They know I’m pregnant, of course, but they don’t know the whole story, they have no idea that the father’s not in the picture at all. They’ll never agree with that. And I don’t know what to tell them. I mean, they’re very open minded people and we’re very close, but, when kids are involved, they could be overprotecting.’ ‘Why don’t you tell them about Paul then? Isn’t that the easiest way? I’m sure they would understand.’ ‘You must be joking! You don’t know my dad. If I mentioned Paul’s name he’d do anything in his power to find out who he is. And then he’d find him. I mean, he doesn’t speak a word of English, but I’m sure he’d manage to put his point across somehow. Can you imagine my dad confronting Paul about a child he doesn’t even know that exists? No, I can’t let that one happen. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll come up with something until next week.’ I repeated Tina’s words trying to reassure him and myself in the same time. ‘Where are they going to stay?’ George asked. ‘At Tina’s?’ ‘Of course, where else?’ ‘Listen, Adi, I’m not sure if this will help but why don’t you come over and stay at mine while they’re here?’ he suggested. ‘That will give all of you some space, what do you think?’ ‘I don’t know, I don’t really want to disturb.’ I felt a bit reluctant to accept his offer. ‘Don’t be silly. Of course you won’t. Well, think about it at least.’ ‘Ok, I will.’ I smiled at him. It sounded very tempting but I wasn’t sure if Tina would agree with the idea. Or my parents. * My parents have been and gone and my life has changed once again. The day before they were due to land at Heathrow I moved some of my stuff at George’s. And on the Saturday afternoon Craig and I were on our way to the airport to pick them up. ‘Are you ok, Adi?’ Craig asked holding my hand for a second just before getting to the ‘Arrivals’ waiting area. ‘Yeah, I think so.’ I weakly smiled at him. ‘Oh, my little baby girl.’ my mum cried holding me tight when she finally managed to reach me amongst the crowd while my dad tried to hide some tiny tears suddenly appeared in his eyes by quickly wiping them away. Back in Walthamstow, after all the emotional waves passed and all the usual questions asked and answered, the inevitable subject popped up. We were all seated in Tina’s living room, them savouring her freshly brewed coffee, me chewing on a piece of chocolate from the box sent over by my brother, when my dad started: ‘So, Adi, when are we going to meet the baby’s father?’ ‘You’ve promised to help me.’ I looked at Tina with worry. ‘You won’t.’ Tina said. ‘Adi, go to the kitchen and get some more cake, will you?’ she sent me away so she could handle them her way. Tina’s my dad’s younger sister. Now there’ve been stories circulated in the family about them two continuously fighting ever since they were very small. It was no difference now. ‘How could you let her get away with this? This is not the way we brought her up.’ I could hear my dad raising his voice at her. ‘Listen, Victor, she’s a mature person. You can’t tell her what to do anymore. This is her decision and we should respect it.’ ‘For God’s sake, Tina, you’re telling me that it’s alright for her not to tell the guy about his baby? How could you agree with anything like this?’ Tina doesn’t but she’s realised that at the moment I wouldn’t be able to cope with the smallest sign of rejection from Paul. So has George ‘cos neither of them asked me to go and see him anymore. And I’m grateful to both for that. ‘She’ll do it but in her own time, when she’ll feel ready.’ Tina kept defending me. ‘All she needs right now is our support, I thought you’d know better.’ ‘Of course I know.’ my dad eased up a bit. ‘But she’s only a child herself.’ my mum wept again. ‘How is she gonna cope?’ ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Olga, you always overreact. She’s a grown up woman not a kid anymore. You already had both your children by her age, don’t you remember?’ ‘Yeah, but things were different those days. And I wasn’t on my own, Victor was there with me.’ ` ‘She’s not on her own, she’s got us all.’ ‘Maybe she should come back home with us.’ my dad suggested. At that point my heart nearly fainted. That couldn’t have possibly happened. ‘Over my dead body.’ I felt relieved when Tina angrily protested. ‘She’s got her whole life here. She’s got a job, she’s got us and all her friends. She’s not going anywhere. I think, for once, you two should start showing her some trust and understanding. Stop treating her like a stupid little girl. She deserves more consideration than that.’ Craig was making himself helpful in the kitchen watching over Tina’s dinner. He couldn’t understand much of what was said and everyone was too busy to be bothered to do the translation for him but I’m sure he could figure out what was going on. ‘Don’t worry, Adi, you’ll be ok.’ he gave me a reassuring smile. ‘Hmmm, d’you really think so?’ I worriedly looked at him. In the living room the voices went quiet for few moments. Did Tina finally manage to get them off my case? There was only one way to find out. When I got back in there the spirits seemed to have calmed down indeed. ‘Come here, girl.’ my dad cuddled me. ‘No matter what happens just remember that we do love you very very much.’ he said and then transferred me into my mum’s arms. I was their little girl again and it felt familiarly good. George rang me up a bit later. ‘How did it go?’ he asked. ‘Well, ok I suppose. Tina managed to convince them that there’s no need to worry about me. So they seem quite happy at the moment. What time are you coming over?’ I asked. ‘Soon, in an hour or so.’ ‘Hurry up, will you?’ I pleaded. I really needed him there. My parents were also curious to find out who this good friend of Adi was. And they liked him instantly. Well, I wasn’t surprised really, everyone likes George. I think if there hadn’t been the language barrier my dad and him would’ve become best of mates. ‘See’ dad said when we had a moment on our own in the kitchen, ‘why couldn’t you find someone like that, Adi? I wouldn’t have any concerns whatsoever if you were with someone like him. It’s true, he’s a bit older than you but he’s such a lovely fella.’ ‘Yeah, ok, dad.’ I said annoyed. Was he gonna carry on pestering me until the end of their stay? ‘He seems to like you a lot.’ he went on watching to see my reaction. ‘Yeah, I know he does, he’s my friend. And this is what we are, friends and nothing more.’ I ended up the irritating conversation walking out of the kitchen. I had the following week booked off from work so I could spend time with my parents and show them around London. As expected, the time went flying and by Friday I was already feeling sad: they were due to go back on Sunday afternoon and I knew I wasn’t gonna see them again for God knows how long. ‘Adi, why don’t you invite your parents over for dinner tonight?’ George suggested on Friday morning just before leaving for work. ‘Tina and Craig as well, of course.’ ‘Are you sure?’ I looked at him surprised. I mean, he’d gone to a lot of trouble already by having me there, I didn’t really want to take advantages. ‘Of course I am. Don’t you think it would be nice?’ So on Friday evening we were all hungrily tucking into my Sheppard’s pie in George’s dinning room. My parents were well impressed. With George’s flat and my cooking as well. After the cheese cake was brought over and done with it my father produced a bottle filled with a limpid liquid from the bag he'd hidden underneath his chair. I instantly guessed what it contained. ‘George,’ he said ‘you have to try this.’ ‘Daaad!’ I protested ‘You can’t give him that. He’s gonna get drunk.’ ‘Oh, come on, girl, he doesn’t have to drink the whole bottle, he can have a bit though.’ ‘What is it, Adi?’ George looked at me curious. ‘Well, it’s a very traditional drink from back home. It’s very pure, made of fruits but you wouldn’t want to try it ‘cos it’s very strong.’ ‘Well, it would do me no harm, I guess, if I just tasted a bit.’ ‘George, don’t do it. You’re gonna regret it tomorrow morning.’ My warnings were in vain. Dad poured some of it in two glasses, for George and himself, the rest of us didn’t feel brave enough to try it. I mean, I can’t drink, Craig’s a tea total person, as for Tina and my mum, they prefer to stick with what they know best, a glass of wine will do for them. Half an hour later George and dad seemed to manage to communicate with each other without the need of an interpreter. That was quite funny actually. ‘Adi, do you want me to help you getting him upstairs?’ Craig asked just before they were about to leave. ‘No, no, we’ll be alright, don’t worry.’ I spared George the embarrassment. ‘Com’on, George, I’ll take you to bed.’ I said after they left. Somehow, with my help of course, he managed to stumble upstairs to his bedroom. I helped him taking off his clothes and got him into bed. I just hoped he wouldn’t remember much the next day. ‘Now try to sleep.’ I said. ‘I left a bottle of water next to the bed, drink plenty of it during the night, ok?’ I covered him with the duvet. ‘Nigh night.’ I gave him a quick kiss on his forehead. ‘’night.’ he mumbled. Before I left he grabbed my hand and held it into his for a second. ‘I love you, Adi.’ he said. A minute later he was fast asleep. I stood there looking at him: was Tina right once again? Nah, it must’ve been the alcohol, getting him overemotional. ‘I’m sorry, George,’ I sympathised the next morning watching him holding his sore head in his hands ‘I should have never let you try that drink last night.’ ‘Don’t be silly, Adi. Your dad’s great fun. I mean, your family’s really nice. I’ll be ok soon, don’t worry.’ I wasn’t too sure about that. I spent the rest of the afternoon with my parents. George came and picked me up about nine. In the car, on the way home, we were both quiet, that was supposed to be my last night at his flat. I must say, I quite enjoyed being there. Once home we curled up on the sofa trying to watch a bit of telly before going to bed. ‘Adi,’ he said just before switching the TV off ‘why don’t you move in with me permanently?’ I looked at him: was he being serious? By the look on his face it seemed so. ‘George,’ I asked, ‘ why would you want that? It’s because of Paul, isn’t it? You still feel responsible for us splitting up and think that’s the right thing to do, don’t you?’ I confronted him for the first time. ‘You think I’m not capable of offering his baby what he’s entitled to and want to put things right.’ The next second I deeply regretted my words. George looked at me surprised. ‘It’s nothing like that, Adi. I care lots about you. And the baby. But I’ve asked you to move here mostly for myself, because I like having you around.’ ‘Do you?’ I looked at him dumbfounded. ‘Of course I do. The house looks alive with you here.’ ‘But, George,’ I said still unconvinced, ‘one day you might find someone you want to be with, what’s gonna happen then?’ ‘Trust me, Adi, there’s no chance of that happening soon, at the moment I’m quite happy on my own. Besides, you don’t have to live here forever, one day you’ll find someone yourself and move on.’ ‘Ok,’ I suddenly decided, ‘I’ll stay if you let me pay you rent.’ ‘Don’t be silly, ‘ he laughed, ‘there’s no rent to be paid for this place.’ ‘Well, then I won’t.’ ‘Oh, Adi, you could be hard work sometime, you know that? Ok, I let you buy me lunch every second Thursday, how does that sound?’ he jokingly suggested. I knew he’s not gonna have more than that. ‘Ok.’ I agreed smiling ‘deal’s on then.’ The next morning George and I drove my parents back to Heathrow. There were lots of hugs and tears shared before their plane took off. Back to Walthamstow we told Tina about our plan. She looked at George astonished: ‘Do you really know what you’re getting yourself into, George?’ she joked. ‘No, not really,’ he replied smiling, ‘but, I suppose, I’ll find out soon.’ So that was it. I’ve been living with George for the last couple of months and things've been great. The baby’s arrival is not that far away and we’ve been busy transforming the other spare bedroom into a nursery. George’s been over generous and already bought lots of stuff for the little one. Every time I try to stop him spending his money he comes up with the same excuse: ‘I’ll be the godfather so I’m entitled to.’ What else could I really say?
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