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Poetry
chance
By no1butClo
11 October 2006
not sure about the last line but em [see I can't write a lovesong] says it works...

help! =)

I burnt my tongue as I looked up
from my coffee, and saw you walking

on you way back from a day's escape;
I get the feeling that meeting of eyes
was a reality check you should have
been spared

but it was I who trembled into that
quick embrace,
I who fumbled words, and on introductions
made clear my loss of face

I who looked too keenly
as our separate ways kept walking
and you just looked at me
with the dead eyes of tomorrow

revealing nothing but my own reflection

Reviews
Not your very best...
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 11th October 2006
But recognisably clo-ish and better than the average bear booboo. 
 
Oli.

Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 12th October 2006
I liked the last line - it worked well for me. In fact, I liked it all really. It fitted together well and said, what I assume, you wanted it to say. 
 
Not sure about the very first line. Does it matter whether you burnt your tongue or not? 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.

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