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Halloween
By Gill21
11 October 2006
Crikey i've managed to write something new. I'm not that happy with it (is it possible to bore yourself with your own writing?) but anyhoo i'm not going to fiddle about with it too much until you've read it. A script i read recently on here inspired this, although written with a different approach. Thought i'd just post it now before the site is inundated with Halloween stories. Just a bit of fun. Let me know what you think.Smile   (can't think of a good title, suggestions also appreciated).

‘Help! HELP! Someone please help me!!’

I run through the trees, snagging my skirt on the branches as I flee. I have only one shoe on now and small rocks and twigs are puncturing holes into the soles of my feet and sending a piercing pain up my legs and back as they make me stumble. Every so often I hear something solid snap.

Faced now with a great mound of dirt and moss I fling myself as far up the obstacle as I can, clinging into trees roots and grass for leverage. I hear the ominous sounds of heavy breathing approaching me from behind, and smell the musty stench of sweat in the cool night air. My heart beats in the rhythm of a clock, and as I scramble to the summit of the mound, it stops.

My eyes grow wide and my breath escapes me in long silvery streams, for before me sparkles the most beautiful sight I have ever laid eyes on. I hear the wolves howl as I stare at the full moon, transfixed in its spell. My eyes mist and feel my body bathed in a warm ivory light. I hear a stream not ten feet away trickle and plop musically. Something brushes passed my feet, and my heart leaps into my throat. I realise I cannot move. I cannot open my eyes. There is breath on my neck and I gag as the stench hit’s my flared nostrils. Something sharp and smooth brushes passed my face and something warm trickles down my cheek. My head begins to swim….

‘Ah!’ I bolt upright in my bed, breathing heavily and bathed in a cold sweat.
Drawing my knees up to me and placing one hand on my forehead, I look around and will myself to relax. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Glancing at my Mickey Mouse clock my heart drops. It’s almost 3am. My shift starts in an hour. Rolling my eyes, I untangle myself from the bed sheets and shuffle to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

   Later that evening, and after a long day at the hospital (note to self- try to get Halloween off next year) I traipse down the stairs tired, but coffee fuelled enough for a couple of party hours. I enter the kitchen and smile at the sight of my little sister and her friends emptying the contents of their ‘trick or treating’ pumpkin shaped plastic pots of treats onto the table, and hyperactively salivating over the sight before them.

‘Right mum that’s me away. I won’t be back late.’

‘Ok pet,’ she shifts uncomfortably onto her other foot and checks her watch.

‘Are you okay?’ I ask, picking my keys off of the counter behind her.

‘What? Oh yes I’m fine, just waiting on the mothers to come pick this lot up. Sally if you see your brother will you please tell him to ring me? He said he would an hour ago and he hasn’t yet.’

‘Mum he’s over at Kevin’s, he’ll just have lost track of the time or something. It’s only 10 o’clock.’

‘But if you see him?’

‘I will Mum, don’t worry. He’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.’

I kiss my mother on the cheek, pat my little sister on the head and set out into the night.

Breathing in the crisp clean air, the sound of sugar fuelled children and alcohol fuelled teenagers sashaying through the streets alongside the gentle breeze, I crunch down the drive, and off to my right towards the party. I had little time to throw together a costume as normally, as a rule of thumb, I boycott anything Halloween. However I had plenty of black in my wardrobe, stripy tights and hairspray. Not a particularly inventive or exciting but at least I made the effort. A witch would just have to do.

Meandering down the avenue I smile and wave at the passers by I recognize. Little Sarah Fisher who every year dresses like a ballerina, even though it’s 5 degrees outside; the Baker boys who wear any costume that allows them to brandish guns and Clarice from next door who’s Gran drags her around in good spirit, although she’s diabetic and can’t in fact eat any of the sweets herself. My hip starts vibrating.

‘Hey gorgeous, you on your way?’

I squint my eyes and tilt my head away from the phone for fear of the wellbeing of my eardrums. The party sounds in full swing.

‘Yeah I’ve just left the house, be there in about ten minutes.’

‘Ok. Just be careful, the weirdo’s are out in full swing tonight. See ya soon!’

‘Tell me about it.’ I mutter as the phone goes dead. Reason one why I hate Halloween.

That reminds me. Getting my phone out again I send Kris a text;

M’s worried. Call her. Hope ur having a gd nite.

I put it away and look up to see that I’ve stopped by the edge of the woods.

 It wasn’t far from here two years ago when Kris was attacked. Him and his mates let, who they thought was someone they knew from school, take them into the woods to drink and smoke. Never trust someone when you can’t see their face.
A shiver runs up my spine and I shake the image out of my head. Wrapping my shawl tightly around me I go around the woods, out of the avenue and towards the village, leaving the sound of the children behind me. 

The streets seem very quiet now and that feeling settles in my stomach. I’ve never been one for scary movies and the 31st always feels like a scary movie just waiting to happen.

Grown men dressed as vampires and warlocks pass me on my right, women dressed as whores pass me on my left. A man passes me as a whore and winks. I giggle and scurry on. I feel snow clouds roll in overhead and the streets become immensely dark, lit only by the pitiful pools of orange streetlamps. What I can only assume are in fact people, keep randomly emerging from door and alleyways, staggering this way and that and slipping on the black ice.

A man dressed like a clown brushes roughly passed me and makes some lurid comment in my ear while his mates laugh around him. Sanctimonious teenage boys are throwing toilet rolls at houses and destroying flower beds in the gardens. One hits me on the side of the head. Another reason why i hate Halloween.

I spin around in anger, the pub now in clear view, and march towards the teens to give them a piece of my mind, when suddenly I am lurched backwards as though a string attached to my bellybutton has been pulled through my back. My head snaps back and a gloved hand is placed over my mouth. My screams are muffled and my hair pulled from my scalp as I try desperately to get free. I kick and scream and claw at the person holding me but they are too strong. I am being dragged backwards into the woods.

I somehow manage to swing my leg around the back of my attackers and we fall to the ground. The corner of my head hits something hard and sharp but I spring up and begin to run.

I hear breathing and muffled yelling behind me but I keep running aware that the pub is only a hundred feet away. I run through the trees snagging my skirt on the branches as I flee. Snow is beginning to fall, and a dog is howling. I scream out for help, but the air is heavy and dead. I realize I am deep into the woods now. In my terror I ran in the wrong direction.

I stop for a minute, and try to get my bearings. I can hear scuffling and the snapping and crunching of wooden debris underfoot getting louder. In complete panic I am frozen to the spot.

I whip around to face my assailants and am momentarily blinded by a dazzling ivory light framed by the trees. A full moon. Nausea sets in. I swallow and bend down, scrambling for a branch. Finding one, I clutch it tightly in my hand and rise up again.

Two wolves are coming towards me. I hear someone behind. As I raise my arm to swing at them my hair is pulled backwards again and an arm slips around my waist.
My eyes wide and straining, I see something glinting silver. Something cool glides across my throat. Something warm trickles down my neck. Pins and needles crawl from my fingertips up arms. My head begins to swim.

The wolf in front of me and to the right pulls of his mask a wide grin on his face.
The one behind me lets go and steps out, a knife dripping fake blood in his hands.
The last takes his mask off breathing deeply, and stares at me apologetically.

‘Trick or treat?’

I take the branch in my hands again, and swing at my boyfriend and his mates anyway.
I hate Halloween.

Reviews
Haloweenish!
Written by Fledermaus (3230 comments posted) 11th October 2006
I loved it. It wasn't clear where this was going. You slowly built up the tension, introduced many false clues and then a great climax, followed by an end that makes one smile.
very atmospheric ..... !
Written by Bagheera (680 comments posted) 11th October 2006
,,, and the tweak at the end of the tale was well concealed until the last possible moment! Nicely carried off! 
One or two little typos ("the wolf .... pulls OF his mask....") bur nothing which spoils the telling of the story. 
 
Tanks for a good read! :grin

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 11th October 2006
I get bored with my own writing all the time, but your story pulled me right along. The ending, I thought, was just right: the fact that she swung at the boyfriend even after she recognized who he was, and that last short line 'I hate Halloween' worked well. 
 
Oddly enough, I had planned to read this earlier, but did not have the time. I was intrigued, because I also have a Halloween story (entitled  
'Trick or Treat'). My story involves an attack in the woods as well -- and an escape, but otherwise the stories are completely different. . .  
 
Thank you for your kind comments on my story. You are certainly right about it being a little long: I find NOT being long-winded one of the biggest challenges to writing short stories. Which really OUGHT to be 'short' and pithy, not meandering and overblown.
Untitled.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 11th October 2006
Lovely piece, Gill. I agree with the others, a sometimes quite graphic spot of storytelling. Some engaging descriptive touches. One of your best for a while. Normally I would say if you haven't a title, you need to look again at your conception of the story. But not so here. Though you must think of the title yourself. Its your branding and shows you are in control of your thoughts! 
 
Well done! 
 
Slan!

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3291 comments posted) 12th October 2006
I have to say I think she should ditch him. I bet her life is one long round of practical jokes and watching old Star Trek movies 
I thought it was nicely paced, kept me reading,and engaged my sympathy as I hate Halloween too. 
A great piece of storytelling 
BBS
Hi Gill
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 12th October 2006
I really enjoyed reading this story and was kept involved throughout. I am pleased that it ended happily but I agree with BBS that he was not an ideal boyfriend to have.
i liked this
Written by onezero (12 comments posted) 12th October 2006
This was a good story. It got better and better as the story took shape. I'm unsure if the opening scene of the dream was needed, I do acknowledge it had some reference to the final scenes in the woods but for me the story really came to life with the family scene in the kitchen, this might make a better starting point? I like the reference to Kris whereabouts and later discovering he was attacked - justified the mother's concern for him. All in all, well thought out and pacey.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 12th October 2006
I'd have given him a good slapping :) Great bit of work Gill, trots along nicely and I loved the twist at the end. Halloween sucks! 
 
Elli :)
thank you boys and girls
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 12th October 2006
Mouse, Bag, Witzl, GC, BBS, Jean, onezero and Elli thank you all for taking the time to read and review my piece, it's much appreciated as always, and i have taken all your advice on board. 
Are you all on happy pills or something? You're all too nice! I took the last piece off because i thought it was rubbish, even though you only had nice things to say. Madness! 
Thanks guys :)  
 
p.s- no fear, she dumps him in the sequel.
Hi Gill
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 12th October 2006
Once again it's all been said. I deliberately refused to read it in case it would have compromised Trick or treat 2 but it didn't. 
 
Brian.
I liked this too!
Written by bookworm (13 comments posted) 13th October 2006
Very nicely paced, and once I started to read it I had to continue. You painted a vivid picture of everything that was going on around her, plus how she felt and reacted when she was attacked by her stupid fella! 
The ending was good, and what made it a happy one was the fact that she swung at them anyway. 
Well done!!

Written by Phil (6632 comments posted) 13th October 2006
Gill, sorry it's taken a couple of days to get around to this. Work's such a bore.  
 
Like the others, I really liked this. A vivid spot of story telling. The ending took me by surprise - I thought she was a goner. 
 
Well done. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.
Brian, bookworm, and Phil
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 14th October 2006
Ta very much for your reviews. Glad you enjoyed it :)

Written by coosh (844 comments posted) 17th October 2006
Enjoyed this a lot, Gill. I'd kinda decided she wasn't going to come to any grief - but the strength lies in your storytelling ability, combined with the central idea of being fed with with the "same old annoying Halloween" stuff. 
 
Not sure I agree with onezero - I think the way the reality sort of mirrors the dream works quite neatly here - not only does she have to put up with all the antics each year, but there's also the pesterin' nightmares.  
 
Very enjoyable read.

Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 19th October 2006
Hi coosh, thanks for the review :)

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