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Poetry
Colorplay
By Witzl
12 October 2006
This is just word play.  I love colors and have been struck by how beautiful many truly ugly things are. I wanted this to sound simplistic, like a child's rhyme, but with diverse images. I am still working on it and, as always, still open to suggestions about how to make it better.

COLORPLAY

River green, oozing by

Spray of leaf, lizard eye

Verdant forest, Key Lime pie

Green’s the one for me.

 

Red, red, bloody rag

Drunkard’s nose, night-lit fag

Crimson rose, stripes of flag

Red’s my heart’s true love.

 

Sun-burst gold, hot delight

Ripened wheat, moon by night

Daisy’s center, candlelight

Yellow warms me up.

 

Brewing storm in prairie sky

Iridescent butterfly

Silk of iris, berry pie

Purple through and through.

 

Summer’s sky -- without a flaw

Iris and hydrangea

Pulsing vein, lobelia

Pure and depthless blue

 

Velvet ribbon, panther’s shine

Chinese ink and shaft of mine

Winter’s sky and Norway pine

Lose yourself in black.

 

Baby’s tooth and lily spray

Bleached-anemic winter’s day

Lilacs in the month of May

Xerox-paper white.

 

Sheen of snow, crystal spray

Film of ashes, frosty day

Silks and satins, shades of grey

Grey’s the only way.

 

Rich deep loam, smell of must

Ash to ashes, dust to dust

Grows all life, earth’s true crust

We’ll all sink in brown.

 

 

Reviews
HOW LOVELY
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 12th October 2006
I did enjoy your poem. I'd never have thought you could have written such a lovely poem on the subject of colours. Not only the "seeing" of the colours but the "feel" of them too. I think you will impress a lot of people with your lovely words. Well done!

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 12th October 2006
Really liked this. Simple but well written. Flowed and read well. 
 
Phil.

Written by kerry1983 (9 comments posted) 12th October 2006
I liked this poem, it was very descriptive and you can imagine alot of the colours, we all associate colours differently so it's refreshing to see them in your view. 
This is my favourite of your poems. 
 
thanks
Hi Witzl
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 12th October 2006
Beautifully done. You conjure up such an attractive sight with each of the colours. I really enjoyed this.
Sensual...
Written by MarjoryBanks (14 comments posted) 13th October 2006
All poetry is just wordplay really. 
 
I think this is a "developmental" piece i.e. you are examining your responses to things (colours in this instance) - you will grow as a poet by this process. 
 
Madge

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 14th October 2006
excellent piece. i love the way you described each of the colors and still end up with this simple, yet creative piece. the rhythm went well, too. 
 
cheers, 
rilLie

Written by austheke (35 comments posted) 5th May 2007
i've been trying to do a poem like this on colors... and failed horribly. looks like you beat me to it.  
 
the rhymes are so natural. (lucky.) and it's very descriptive imagery in very few words. (LUCKY.)  
 
some people get all the luck. and with poetry, it's never me.  
 
well done! keep writing. (like you need me to tell you to do that.)

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 5th May 2007
Thank you, austheke, for your approving comments. I'd feel very smug, I'm sure, but I've only just noticed that I rhymed 'spray' and 'day' twice here -- a no-no, I believe... Sigh.

Written by austheke (35 comments posted) 12th May 2007
oh, it's fine. 
 
at least you can rhyme. unlike some of us. meaning me.

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