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Beyond the mizzen mast to stern, the early morning mist shrouded the grey stone buildings and diluted the lights of the decaying harbour town. I could no longer make out the steeple of the church where I had been baptised seventeen years earlier. We had drifted gently past the school where I once viewed with envious eyes the returning trawlers and tall-ships through the corroded, dirty, salt encrusted windows.
Stretching out beneath and behind us the long tentacle of the serpentine expanse meandered past the sombre silhouette of the aging harbour wall. At the time I believed I was seeking serenity at sea, or serendipity or perhaps just the confirmation of my own inadequacy. Whatever it was that compelled me to walk inexorably towards the ocean had been born from a stubbornness inherited from a long line of sailors who had passed my door, lured by the siren ships, never to return. I turned from the distant reflections of the past as they were washed away by the ship's wake. In front of me the orange disc climbed lazily from its aqueous slumber. Through the mists on the new horizon and into a cold, navy sky.
The wind filled our sails, the main mast creaked and sighed and the old lighthouse winked an affectionate farewell. But every flash of brilliance is punctuated by a much longer period of darkness and uncertainty. As a headstrong young man, I could not see through the fog of my dreams, nor comprehend the significance of the tempestuous years that lay ahead.
James Cook, Horatio Nelson, Herman Melville, Daniel Defoe, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, every Nantucket whaler, every sea-faring Viking warrior, every fisherman and bluejacket from Simon and Jonah to Jack Tar and John Doe. These leviathans of men. These brother mariners. These tutors of mine. It was they who had provided my education. They who had written my introduction, my prologue. And there stood I, at the top of page one, at the bow of that glorious vessel that was to be my pen, the crew my ink and the ocean my pages. I bent back the outside cover, pressed it firmly flat and began to write.
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Bit more needed..
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 12th October 2006 | Hello Cameron.
Writing looks fine to me. But it is difficult to form much of a judgement beyond that when it is unclear what work is intended here. Or some kind of context. A little more forthcoming, perhaps?
Slan! | ... and more forthcoming.
Written by CameronS (20 comments posted) 13th October 2006 | Gerard, a charaid,
Thank you for taking the time to read this and to leave your comments, although I confess to being a little disappointed with "fine" as an adjective (unless it's in a South Carolina mighty fine type way).
It was something I started a couple of years ago but have never managed to get round to continuing. The purpose was to explore the difficulties encountered when one finds that one's destiny doesn't fulfil one's dreams. The character's entire young life has been about preparing for going to sea but when he gets there he finds he is not suited and doesn't fit in. How he copes with being an outsider in what should be his own world will, eventually, be the purpose.
Le durachd,
Stewartmighty fine | Descriptive
Written by Fledermaus (3453 comments posted) 13th October 2006 | | A very nice description. A very poetic style, full of metaphors. I hadn't expected that the whole sailing adventure itself would be a metaphor as well! | Fine Gael!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 14th October 2006 | Stewart, Fine mornin' t' Yer Honour.
As a blessed Celt yous 'll b' knowin' fine well the frequent and important use o' fine t' th' Gael. Its a fine word t' deploy when yous can no b' dreamin' up anythin' finer. But t' th' English fine can only mean one thing and there's a hefty fine f' misusin' their lingo. Fine, I says. Let 'em have their fine language. I'll talk how m' Darlin' Daddy taught me and if th' English don't like it...Fine! A real Tall Talkin' Man, th' Da. Fine feller! An' fine Man yerself !
And thanks for elaborating on the above Prologue. Sounds fascinating. Good luck with it.
Slan! | Fineness
Written by CameronS (20 comments posted) 18th October 2006 | A fine response.
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