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Shorts
The Banshee
By Fledermaus
13 October 2006
We were already warned by Gill that the site would soon be flooded with Haloween-stories. :-D

Hugh was a little too old to play trick and treat. Most of his peers were celebrating Haloween in the pub or they were organizing parties for the children. Yet Hugh and his gang had other plans. For them the fun of the festival was tossing eggs at their neigbour's houses and destroying decorations.
They had just smashed the carefully carved pumpkin in front of the old widow's house and they were getting hungry from all that exercise.
" Look, a kid!", Johnie cried and he pointed at a little Harry Potter clone.
" Think he's got candy?"
" Sure. What is he carrying that bagpack for?"
" Let's get him!"

A moment later the little Harry Potter was sobbing and Hugh and Johnie were inspecting their booty. It wasn't much, but it'd do. This was a good spot for catching food, for the old widow was always very generous to the children.

They waited a few minutes when they saw a little girl dressed like a fairy.
" Think she's got anything?", Johnie asked.
" Not yet. Just wait."

The girl rang the old widow's doorbell and the lady opened the door with a smile. She gave the child as much sweets as she could carry in her small hands, but as the girl skipped away again, the old widow noticed the smashed jack-o-lantern. She looked around and spotted the two boys stalking their next victim.

" Get lost you brats!", she shouted, and she came running at them much faster than they expected.
Johnie and Hugh ran away laughing and shouted some insults.

They reached the rim of the wood and stopped.
" I never expected her to be so fast."
" And persistent."
" Did you see that girl's face, when she saw the old woman coming after us?"
" Cry-baby."
" Now let's see what we've got."

They unwrapped the little boy's sweets and began eating.

" Listen", Johnie said, and he looked around.
They heard the voice of a woman. She was singing some slow-paced song in a foreign language. It sounded rather sad, but beautiful nevertheless.
" Have a look?", Hugh suggested.
" Yeah."
They followed the sound, which seemed to come from the forest. After a few minutes they reached a clearing, and despite the darkness they could make out a girl sitting on a trunk. She was combing her long hair and meanwhile singing this weird song.

" What is she doing here?", Johnie asked.
" Perhaps she's waiting for her boyfriend?"
" Shall I toss an egg at her?"
" Nah. She's hot. Let's have a little chat with her."

They walked up at the girl and to their surprise she greeted them with a smile and stopped singing.
" Hello."
" Hi."
" Shouldn't you kids be playing trick or treat in the village?"
" Oh, we're a little to old for that. May we ask what you're doing here?"
She laughed.
" I'm visiting you. Do you know what a banshee is?"
" An old hag who kills people by singing about their death", Hugh answered.
" You're not very flattering", she said and she chuckled. " But you're not completely wrong. I am a woman and I do sing."
" Like you're a banshee. Right. Let's go Hugh, she's nuts."
" I never saw a banshee."
" Cause they don't exist, duh!"

She shrugged.
" I'm sure the two of you don't know the meaning of samhainn, but it's your choice. I wanted to introduce you to some friends of mine, but since you decided that we don't exist, I suggest you get back to your village."
" And who are you to tell us what to do?"
" Just a banshee. It's all up to you, but don't say I didn't warn you."
" Warn us. Did you hear that Hugh? She warns us, ooh, I'm so scared. Bitch!"
" My friends don't like people who aren't introduced to them."
" Your friends? Where are they eh?", Johnie asked as he was taking an egg from his bag.

But she ignored them and continued singing.
" Let's go", Johnie said,"she's no fun."
" Yeah."

They walked away, but once they reached the edge of the clearing, Johnie turned around and threw the egg at the girl. He missed her, and she acted as if she hadn't even noticed it. Johnie swore and they began walking back to the village.

Then suddenly, they heard a horn and the barking of dogs. They seemed to be approaching fast and the two boys started running. Hugh felt how two paws pushed against his back and a moment later he was thrown down. He felt their warm breath and heard them growl.
" Go away!", he cried, but they didn't go away. Instead he felt they begun tearing his clothes and as he opened his eyes he saw the threatening teeth of a huge hound. Its snow white fur shone in the moonlight and its eyes were glowing red.
He heard how Johnie was shouting and screaming. They had caught him too.

Then the hounds stopped barking and growling and Hugh heard the heavy footsteps of a man.
" Which mortal dares to disturb the Wild Hunt?", a hoarse voice said.

A moment Hugh could hear nothing but the chattering of his own teeth, but then he heard the girls voice again, and this time he could understand the words. She was singing about the death of two boys who disrespected Haloween...

Reviews
Nicely written
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 13th October 2006
But I find Haloween a repulsive concept, you don't have to invent evil, it is all around us in substantial formats. 
 
Gosh I am getting to be a BOF, 
 
Brian.

Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 13th October 2006
hehe bratty kids. Fun story which i'm sure would appeal to many youngsters. I don't hate Halloween at all, but it does freak me out. I meant what i said in my story, it's a scary movie waiting to happen. However it's also about fun, and when i was wee i loved getting all dressed up and going out, ready to perform my songs and poems to the neighbours.  
Maybe a little over loaded with dialogue and a bit predictable (need to work on your scary story endings) but still well written and i enjoyed it nevertheless! 
I learnt something too, i didn't know what a 'banshee' was. :)

Written by Fledermaus (3230 comments posted) 13th October 2006
Thanks for your comments :)  
Haloween isn't about evil, but it is about death. Christianity commemorates all saints at november 1 and that festival got mixed up with the pagan festival of samhain. 
 
Since it was believed that at samhain the gates to the world of the sidhe (spirits/elves/leprachauns) were opened it became associated with ghosts and later on with the souls of dead people. 
 
Furthermore there is the myth of the Wild Hunt, which would take place somewhere between haloween and Christmas, a hunting party of deities, spirits, ghosts or whatever (differs per culture). 
 
Now according to folklore someone who hears a banshee (female sidhe) sing will die, and similarly someone who witnesses the Wild Hunt is said to be doomed... So the two brats are in big trouble  
 
:eek 
 
Hope that didn't sound too know-it-all-ish :grin  
 
Cheers
Well it did
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 13th October 2006
"Hope that didn't sound too know-it-all-ish" 
 
Come on kiddies meet a pervy 
Come on kiddies scare a granny  
Come on Kiddies relax 
This choclate isn't Ex-Lax. 
Honest 
Heh heh heh Heh
HI Fledermaus
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 18th October 2006
It was a good story - and what I enjoyed most was the information you gave us in the post above, much of which was implied in the story.  
 
I hated the kids who were throwing eggs, and I was glad when they got drawn in by the banshee. You made me wonder if they had agreed to meet the banshees friends, whether their fate might have been different, or whether it would have just come sooner.
Got their comeuppance!
Written by ellyb39 (79 comments posted) 19th October 2006
Well that banshee certainly did her stuff, thought you introduced the story really well, immediately disliked them. I was quite glad they got splatted.  
ps thanks for the review. elly

Written by Fledermaus (3230 comments posted) 21st October 2006
Thank you!
Liked this
Written by johniebg (538 comments posted) 5th January 2007
Spotted this reading your profile, you stated it was your favourite, so checked it out. Love this sort of story, you depicted the bullies real well. I got lost a little at the beginning, it started with Hugh but then centred on Johnie, I guess I thought Hugh might have been caught up in this but not so bad. 
 
The premise of the girl was cool, she worked real well but not sure whether you got a bit carried away at the key moment. The following paragraph didn't sound as well written in context with the rest; 
 
"Then suddenly, they heard a horn and the barking of dogs. They seemed to be approaching fast and the two boys started running. Hugh felt how two paws pushed against his back and a moment later he was thrown down. He felt their warm breath and heard them growl. 
" Go away!", he cried, but they didn't go away. Instead he felt they begun tearing his clothes and as he opened his eyes he saw the threatening teeth of a huge hound. Its snow white fur shone in the moonlight and its eyes were glowing red. 
He heard how Johnie was shouting and screaming. They had caught him too.

 
'Then suddenly' jolts, also 'Hugh felt how two paws pushed', this might just be a translation thing, might work as 'Two paws landed on Hugh's back, knocking him to the ground', possibly. Not sure I would be telling whatever had knocked me off my feet to: "Go Away!", more like screaming by big fat head off, not sure how that could be converted to elegant prose. 
 
You thought about revisiting this? Have read most of your latest stuff, which seems more polished than this; good stuff though, love the story.

Written by Fledermaus (3230 comments posted) 7th January 2007
Thanks for reading and commenting Johnie, and for the advice. I haven't polished this one after it was posted (except for some spelling errors perhaps), but who knows, there's a new Halloween next year ;) Maybe I'll try something like this again.

Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 5th March 2007
I enjoyed this too, good idea. I think that you can afford to put in even more detail in order to make smooth transitions between ideas e.g. the Horn paragraph appeared to happened rather abruptly and I would have like a little slower lead up to it. 
 
Just some minor corrections? 
 
Back pack not bag pack 
gave the girl as many etc., 
Hugh felt two paws pushing against his back ..... He felt their warm breath and heard them growl. 
he felt them beginning to tear his clothes 
 
Good stuff though... 
Kathy

Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 5th March 2007
Oops, I should have typed, 'appeared to happen' sorry! 
K

Written by Fledermaus (3230 comments posted) 6th March 2007
Thanks Kathy. I'm glad you liked it and I'll correct the errors soon. Haloween offers nice opportunities for stories :)

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