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Poetry


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Bob's Bits

By MarjoryBanks

13 October 2006

I thought of posting this in the children's section - but I wasn't sure of the subject matter.

Madge.

Bob he was a quiet lad,
He never made a noise,
Was never good, never bad,
Just, well, one of the boys.

He wasn’t an Adonis,
Nor was he very tall,
In fact to be quite honest,
Bob was nothing much at all!

Yet Bob was by the other lads,
Held in strange esteem,
And often wore a smugness,
Like the cat that got the cream.

His pride it seemed most obvious,
Right after we had gym,
The other lads seemed envious,
And all looked up to him.

‘Twas one day in the swimming class,
His secret was revealed,
For from his pert and rosy ass,
His swimming trunks were peeled!

And…

Bob’s bits they were glorious!
They hung so proud and free,
He just stood there victorious!
An awesome sight to see!

They hung to near his kneecaps!

Like a donkey in the field!

I nearly had a relapse!

When Bob’s bits were unconcealed!

Bob left school quite early,
Was married by sixteen,
Had lots of jobs, just bits and bobs,
And loved his wife, Kathleen.

Yet Bob he had a talent, a solitary skill,
He’d eighty seven children,
Now my town is called,

“Bobsville”.

Reviews

This is just amazing...
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 13th October 2006

...for the obvious reason, of course, that is is funny and well-crafted, but also because my father's name was Bob and my mother's was Kathleen. Fortunately, my father and mother married late and only had the three of us, or I'd be genuinely worried.

It is the 'And. . .' in the middle that just makes this. I imagine this 'And. . .' long and drawn out in a slow, portentous drawl -- with a drum roll in the background. Love all those exclamation marks too.

Oo I Say!
Written by Jay (12 comments posted) 13th October 2006

Have to agree it might not be appropriate for the childrens section :grin

Really engaging write had me smiling and chuckling throughout. Makes you wonder if it's in the jeans, sorry genes

All the best
Jay

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 14th October 2006

extremely funny. won't write it in the children's section, either.

-rilLie

I KNEW -----
Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 14th October 2006

I thought this poem would catch people's attention. Well done Marjorie. It is rather funny, but I hope you don't live in Bobsville.

Nice one
Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 14th October 2006

It mad me smile,

Bob

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