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Poetry
Life Blood
By Jay
14 October 2006
My thanks to Patterjack for some helpful comments, I hope you approve the amendments!  

Imagine a predator and their prey.
Who shall win this day?

Sweet and clean, the dark forest pine,
Inhale deep and wide -
Blue crisp frosted snow and
Acrid heat of sweating hide.

Startled eyes with panic bulge,
Scouting a safe way to run.
Ears rotate, ahead, behind, 
Breathing shallow on tortured lung.

Play filled bounce of sinew and muscle,
Blithe spirit filled with fun.
Closer now, stand tall and
Fill the world with "Here I come!"

Fear frozen blood pools
And runs no more.
When sudden jaws clamp and tear,
The life blood spurts its thaw.

Short screams rend the silent air -
Gorge uopn the squirming entree.
Warm growls show as frosted plume,
Life renews as another ebbs away.

Sated hunger rolls and turns.
Head lifts and bright eyes lock.
Darkness folds to just one point,
As he bows, inviting me to test my luck.

Reviews
Life Blood
Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 14th October 2006
Jay - very well written, very descriptive etc - but I didn't like the subject. (Many wouldn't, though we eat meat).
the most unnatural death is that of old
Written by patterjack (1433 comments posted) 14th October 2006
From the viewpoint of a 77 year old . If the above is so , then may I die the most unnatural of deaths . 
 
patterjack 
 
review
Written by patterjack (1433 comments posted) 10th November 2006
sent a private message -- hope it gets through

Written by rilLie (328 comments posted) 10th November 2006
Iliked this one a lot. Very descriptive, and lots of metaphors. Makes me think, and good subject as well. 
:grin  
 
-rilLie

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