LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
Only if you believe
You will try
Only if you try
You will succeed
Only if you succeed
You will be worshipped
The problem starts there after
As you want more and more
The more you succeed
The more you will be worshipped
The more you are worshipped
The more your problems erupt
With all the problems in the world
We humans break down instantly
Worries, tears, miseries, struggle
Seems never ending
Life seems like a curse
Little realizing, there’s more to life
Life is beautiful
Only if you value yours
Looking beyond
Worries, tears, miseries and struggle
Smiling every moment
Whether happy or sad
Life is beautiful
When you go beyond
Thinking about your trivial issues
Giving others joy
With your smile
And your love
It’s difficult
We all know that
But have you ever tried?
You may ask what about others?
Each one of us gives
Without realizing what we have given
Smile, love, help, aid
Are in disguise
Unrestricted, they brighten other’s life
Lessening their woes
As each one give others
Life smiles
In recognition of your nature
Small-small gestures
Turn into big events
As life smiles all around
You realize
How beautiful it is to be living!
Johnny D
8th October 2006
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Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 15th October 2006 |
I assume this and the next poem are a reposting as I have read both poems before.
As I mentioned when I reviewed one of your non-fiction pieces, I find the style of your work preachy and hectoring. This will not be to the taste of many readers, me included. As I said before, the level of sophistication in your message is lacking the guile to challenge your readers.
Yes life is beautiful - at times - but in many different ways - not just the way written about here.
Please consider the following: If you write offering strongly held opinions, you are likely to receive strongly held opinions in return. When you post on this site, you invite people to comment on your work; feel free to ignore it, but try not to be offended by it. However, if you generally receive similar comments, perhaps you ought to consider them to be valid.
I hesitate to comment much further as I do not wish to start another free for all as last time.
I can only speak for myself, but I'm guessing what makes me react badly to your words is perhaps what others find distasteful. I have a strong dislike of being told what and how to think.
I hope you feel that this is a measured and balanced response to your work and not you.
Phil. |
Your noble soul
Written by Yolly (3 comments posted) 15th October 2006 |
deserves better treatment than it will receive on this site. Your spirituality is an example to us all in a world that becomes more hate filled by the day. Throughout history those who speak the uncomfortable truth have been tortured for their beliefs but I believe you have the faith and courage to fight your critics and emerge victorious, dripping glory.
I beg you to keep posting as much of your work as possible and pray that you will find an audience that truly understands and appreciates you.
Although I do not always agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Shine on. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3566 comments posted) 16th October 2006 |
" those who speak the uncomfortable truth"
People of this poetry forum seem to think they hold the monopoly on truth but, Yolly and Johnny, whose truth are you talking about, I suspect it isn't mine but your own view to suit your hubristic out look Write what you like but don't dare claim it as the truth. Nothing I say is the truth but it may be useful. I never trust anyone who tells the truth until I know their agenda
BBS |
Spot the difference?
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 16th October 2006 |
I can't. Its still a mantra rather than a poem for me. Its a quasi-religious rant. But it thats what floats your boat.
Fair enough.
Oli. |
Life is Beautiful - - - - but not for ev
Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 21st October 2006 |
| The things which you say are correct: I can't contradict: If you believe, you will try, and if you try, you will succeed. When I was a child and failed the dreaded 11 plus and, in a B stream of a secondary modern, we were not given any encouragement, and our hopes and dreams were shattered - - - - - - I believed in what I wanted from my life - and that was to be a good teacher. From leaving school at 15 I was teaching subjects which I had not even studied at this school by the age of 21, and I did well and was so happy. I taught all my life and it was the work which gave me a lot of satisfaction. I got on well with my students and they did well in their exams. I totally reinforce what you are saying. Yes, we all give without knowing what we have given, and sometimes it is something good, but sometimes it is destroying to others. I couldn't have put things in a better way than you have Johnny. Perhaps I have the same sort of outlook. |
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