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Poetry
Pyramid Jack
By laurasmall
16 October 2006
Jack sits
upon his
pyramid built
of gullible stones
which      
indentured slaves
layered upon
vicious keystones
with a
clink, clink, clink
of chisels
that sounded like the
kuh-chink, kuh-chink
of money
in Jack's
smiling pockets.

Reviews

Written by Talisker (1367 comments posted) 17th October 2006
A super concentrate of transferred epithet on a theme of greed and subjegation. 
 
As such, it works for me - very well done! 
 
Oli
ditto.
Written by rilLie (5 comments posted) 17th October 2006
it's very nice and i like the subject. 
 
well done. 
 
-rilLie
yay
Written by laurasmall (2 comments posted) 18th October 2006
Thanks so much for the positive comments!

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