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| Wacky Jill-Sinking Feeling | |
| By BrianRobertNeal | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19 October 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I can't get this bit right. But I thought if I didn't post it, this would end up like one of two of mine, put to one side and forgotten. For new readers, Rob and WJ are Insurance Liability Surveyors. They are about to go onto an unmanned gravel pit. Whilst trying to pull his wellies over her shoes WJ (Jackie) had fallen on top of Rob. Shed'd then got up leaving him on the ground. Wackie Jill-Sinking Feeling Jackie looked down at Rob who was spread-eagled inelegantly on the ground. His Hard Hat had fallen off and had rolled towards the gate. He was winded but fortunately he was also convulsed with laughter. Jackie made herself “small”, put on a sad little face and snivelled, “I’m sorry Ollie.” She leant forward and offered her two hands which Rob grabbed and then used to pull himself up. He did a fine Oliver Hardy impression, dusting down his coat and trousers, then asked, “If you would be so kind Stanley, perhaps you could give me my Hard Hat?” Jackie picked the Hat up but ensured that she faced Rob throughout. However she pretended to spit on it, polished it up, finally handing it to Rob. After studiously replacing the hat Rob announced, “That’s another fine mess you got me in Stanley. He picked up the dropped key-ring which was about a foot in diameter and on which was over thirty keys. He became engrossed in trying to find the Key that would open the gate’s padlock. A visual examination failed to show any that might fit a padlock. He had this strange feeling that he was being watched by somebody stood on the Pit side of the gate. He looked up, to see a familiar face. It asked him, “What yer doing Ollie?” "Jackie how did you get in?" asked a surprised Robert. She motioned to part of the fence that had been broken down. Using a nearby tree as a handhold one could scramble up a pile of rubble and then step over the fence onto a similar pile of rocks. Rob clambered up and over. But he couldn’t believe the distance he now had to jump down. Then he noticed that Jackie was on her knees. This had made the drop appear to be far bigger than it actually was. She got up saying “It’s a good trick eh?” He jumped the four foot that it had “shrunk down to.” “Right Jackie we’ll follow this path, it’s going upwards, is wide enough to take excavating machines and is flanked by mounds of materials. So that’s where the plant will be.” The path curved steeply upwards to their left where it reached a plateau that was framed by the tops of the various mounds. At the centre of the Plateau was a piece of plant that comprised a range of upward sloping conveyors, a strange large horizontal cylindrical drum and mass of related ladders and walkways. “That Rob is a Separator.” Jackie went on to explain how it worked, and that it was properly safeguarded. To do this she raced up vertical ladders, shot along walkways, took photographs. Rob had followed her. When she finished and they were both back at ground level; she asked, “Well what have I missed.” “Jackie, you astonished me, you’ve missed nothing and you’ve noticed two things that I missed, I’m really impressed.” This was the first time in Jackie’s career that a man and one that was Senior to her, had not felt the need to put her in her place. She felt exhilarated and ran up one of the mounds to its top. She asked “Where are we going next”. Rob replied, “We’re going back the way we came and then, across over there.” “No let’s go down the mound, come on Softy” She ran down the mound. Rob ran up the mound and then against his better judgement went down after her. She jumped the last three feet and then as she landed her feet broke through a thin crust of dried spoil and she started to sink. Rob slithered down the mound to the bottom. He shouted “Throw yourself back”, as she did so, he grabbed her under her arms and held her tightly. He slowly wriggled back up the mound. “Jackie, pull your legs out of those bloody wellies.” After what seemed an eternity, she freed herself and Rob pulled her onto the safety of the mound. Jackie looked bewildered, “What happened” “You jumped into the settling pit, beneath a shallow crust there is a material very like quicksand, if I’d not got to you as soon as I did, you would have drowned. As it is you’ve lost me wellies. Now, stand up, hold on to me and we’ll walk carefully round the bottom of the mounds. When they got to open ground Rob shouted “Let go” He tested the ground and it was firm. It suddenly struck home how close to death she had been, and she just shook and started sobbing. Rob held her very tight and kissed away the tears. “Come on, it’s all over, you’re safe.” When she’d fully calmed down and they were stood on firm ground he explained, “When I got to the top of the mound, I saw the washer plant. I suddenly realised that you were about to jump into the settling Pit. The top six inches would be solid but the material beneath it would be waterlogged. Now fully calmed, Jackie asked, “What does the washer plant wash?” “It washes the soil off the sorted gravels and rocks, the wash water is pumped here, the solids settle out and the clear water pumped off the top and recycled. This Settling Pit hasn’t been used for years, it’s a death trap. Now Jackie what’s missing?” “Rob, I don’t know, I give up, what is missing?” “Have you seen a Gravel Pit?” “Yes, it’s filled with water and covered in Anglers, and it’s just through there.” She pointed over Rob’s shoulder. Where the gravel pit had once been was a large lake. It was divided off from the rest of the site by a fine mesh wire fence. Rob exclaimed, “No bloody wonder the old sod didn’t want us to get in. There must be over sixty fishermen around that lake. Still, if we’re not told, he’s not Insured.” They walked along the fence between lake and the gravel yard and then found the hole where the local children got into the lake area. They crawled through and then walked past the astonished anglers who could not work out where the two of them had come from. Jackie and Rob stood out in their hard hats and bright yellow safety Jackets. There was a path that led to a large car park, at the entrance to which was a hut, inside which was the old woman. Rob gave her back the keys and he and Jackie walked out through into the old Woman’s farm yard and then back across to his car. Neither was too sure who had made the first move, but they were soon in a passionate embrace. They broke apart, both were a little shocked. Rob remarked, “With bright yellow coats and hard hats on; from a distance; we must have looked like a pair of randy parrots.” They got out of their safety gear, back into the car and Rob suggested that “We’ll pick up your car and then drive across to our afternoon appointment. It’s Twelve and our next appointment is no more than half an hour away. They drove away in silence, both regretted what they had done but also both regretted that they had not gone further. “Jackie there’s one thing puzzling me how did you know so much about the separator plant” “Oh Rob, you sent me your report on one of his other Gravel Pits, which I read through” “So why didn’t you know about the Settling Pits” “I didn’t read all the way through I got bored ” “Almost bored to death,” She gave a little shiver and put her hand on his leg. To be continued.
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