It has just been announced that Madonna has adopted a new mother. The couple, under a heavy police guard, flew into Heathrow this morning from the Philippines.
   `I`m over the moon,` Madonna told our reporter. `Filipino women make such good mothers, and I`m sure Corazon will be happy in her new home. Corazon, who was covered with a large blanket as she was whisked through passport control, will join Madonna`s other mother at the singer`s sumptious London address. `My family is quite complete now,`she cooed. `It can be rather lonely being an only mother so I am delighted to have been able to bring Corazon to England.`
    Mystery still surrounds how Madonna was allowed to bring Corazon out of the Philippines as there is a strict law which says all Filipino mothers must, wherever humanly possible, stay in their own village. It is believed however that Madonna has made a substantial donation to a much-needed Home for Fallen Women in the capital, Manila.
    Meanwhile protesters in both the Philippines and England have criticized the Philippine government for caving in to Madonna`s celebrity status. `It is a case of money talking again`, a spokesperson said. `There are hundreds of ordinary people out there looking to adopt a new mother who haven`t got Madonna`s millions.` A reply is still awaited from the Philippine authorities...