BOY OH BOY

A shock of hair falls down across his face

He moves with slouching charm and gawky grace

And swears with practiced nonchalance and style

He’ll give you grief, for sure, but not a smile

Oh no, this guy is tough, this guy’s dead cool

He’d rather die than please you, he’s no fool

You’ll never make him do it, just don’t try

(If you don’t ask him point-blank, he won’t lie)

He’s got a mind, for all he keeps it hid

It’s all his own: one massive, teeming id

-- a seething pool, all full of girls and dreams

Cheerleaders’ skirts and bras and bursting seams

And speeding cars, admiring crowds and beer

And girls all lining up to smile and cheer

And mud and guns and push and shove and fight

And staying out with friends all through the night

I pity you there, standing in the thick

There at the coalface, panting, with your pick

Deeply uncool, so hopelessly behind

 -- cruel adolescence: merciless, unkind

He’ll badger you, he’ll cut you dead, he’ll shout

He’ll take and take, until you’re quite without

a thing. No patience, no respect – no car!

He’s outta here! (You fret ‘Will he go far?’)

And here’s the rub: this kid, this sprout, this pup

One day he’ll leave you, he’ll be all grown up!

Good riddance! some more ignorant might say

But, you, poor fool – poor parent – dread the day

But still, take heart, my friend – don’t grieve too much!

The empty nest, though painful, isn’t such

A lonely place of misery, oh no

He isn’t yours for keeps – just let him go

And maybe someday you will find that he

Will cross the Parent Rubicon and see

Just what he put you through, this wayward boy

And oh the satisfaction and the joy!