Poetry
Waiting
23 October 2006
I did this while waiting at the hospital when my big sister was having her weekly therapy sessions... She slid while playing softball and whoosh! anyway.. my deriere hurts from sitting there for two hours straight.... enjoy.

As silent as the bloodred sky,

watching people pass on by,

making stories in her mind,

to occupy herself, to pass all the time.


Watching the chaos run and then die,

attentive to everything, even the fly,

Making stories of people everyday

whoever, of anyone who passes her way.


Maybe that woman there's a pianist,

who had to go to her local dentist.

Maybe she had over-sized teeth.

Maybe that's why her posture was stiff.


Maybe that couple's love was forbidden.

Maybe that's why they look so bedridden.

Maybe the woman was a praying prostitute.

Maybe the man loved playing the lute.


Waiting, just waiting for something to happen

letting her mind play, however forsaken.

Never a sound, not a sniff nor a cry.

Waiting, just waiting for her to die.

Reviews
Waiting
Written by Josie (4035 comments posted) 23rd October 2006
You made your poem so interesting RiLie. You took the time to look at people and think about them and bring them to life in your poem. Your rhyming and rhythm was much better - but I do not know what the word "rund" means, unless it is a typing mistake? (Not in the dictionary). Happen and forsaken do not rhyme. Why not try "occur" - - then you have a lot of alternatives? Well done.
typo...
Written by rilLie (5 comments posted) 23rd October 2006
thanks for that. 
 
-rilLie

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 23rd October 2006
Interesting idea. I've often done the same myself when I'm bored. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.

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