A score of squandered years. Had they been consumed, By flash of time-warp vortex. Or spent in deep narcosis, In some dark, webby cave. Had I been quick frozen, In cryogenic stasis. I would be happy now. But twenty years of folly, Of blind alleys, false hopes, And subjugation? When I reflect, My soul blushes. I have been a fool, And a tool for others, To use for their own ends. No more, my friends, No more, my friends, No more my friends. Oli (23/10/06) |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 23rd October 2006 | Once again, I want to respond to the content of the poem and not just the poem itself.
This is what wisdom is all about! All the dumb things we did when we were young, all the time we mindlessly squandered, the lies we told, the false hopes we foolishly nurtured, the opportunities we wasted -- this is when we cash in!
If you had hibernated or spent all this time in cryogenic stasis, you might be happy, but it would be the happiness of one who had not lived. And you'd have to go out and do all those stupid things again. Just think how great it is having all that behind you now: done that, been there -- and definitely, no more please.
Fine poem, once again. Deep narcosis in some dark, webby cave sounds pretty good to me just now. | Agreeing ...
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 23rd October 2006 | ... with Witzl on content
I would not want to have missed any of my personal vicissitudes -- I've had some hairy moments but looking back on them can be most interesting!
And i don't think one can afford self -pity.
I like the possible vocal variations and variations of meaning within those last three lines !
patterjack
|
Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 23rd October 2006 | Fine poem.
PMed.
All the best,
Phil. | In explanation.
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 23rd October 2006 | I would agree with you Witzl and PJ - but its more specifically related to my previous occupation (Investment Accountant) - whereby I pursued a career up a blind alley, made huge sacrifices, worked my cojones off, became depressed, even became self-hating! I can see no value in those years professionaly, I learned nothing but bad stuff, how to be a selfish, back-stabbing, lickspittle.
Now I'm an organic gardener, poet (of sorts) but also a manic depressive, a bit of a basket case - I think
I wish could have learned without having to "go to prison" for 20 years!
OLi. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3449 comments posted) 23rd October 2006 | | If in twenty years time you find you're writing the same poem, you've got a problem if it's a different one then it's all been worth it | Ummm. Yes.. But...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 24th October 2006 | Greetings Infidel.
Seriously, if I am honest, and I know you value honesty 'cause you said so, so it must be true, this was for me the least satisfactory of your offerings-- less the lord's prayer-- thus far. Nothing wrong with the technics and style. Its just that I seemed to detect a rather self absorbed taint in it which is not usually present and with which I find it difficult to empathise. Call me old fashioned; call me old fool; call me old and call me what you will, but I tend to look askance at poetry that deploys the personal pronoun quite so evidently in what is, writ large, a piece of personal introspection. Bit bloodless and lacking in your trademark humour, would be my take. But, hey!! I'm only some Irish loon that only owns one pair of strides on account of you can never wear two!!
Well worth reading as always, Oli.
Slan! | Yes Gerard!
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 24th October 2006 | You are right in what you say, my friend. You usually are. This is self-indulgent pap - but even silver-tongued wordsmiths have off days. Allow a mere mortal his foibles. This one needed written as one needs to evacuate one's bowels. Perhaps I should not have done so in public.
You motivate me to write brighter more positive stuff - for that, humble thanks.
Remeber though, I'm the bi-polar bear - somedays he needs to shit in the woods.
Oli.  |
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