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| Another one bites the Dust Jacket | |
| By Bottleblondesurfer | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24 October 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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A local bookshop recently shut . I haven't posted anything for a while so I thought I'd write somethng on the subject. No agenda here, just an excuse for some light hearted banter. I don't really do literature. Sorry about the awful title- any suggested improvements? “I can really recommend ‘I hate my wonderful life’ by Fenella Dome, very current, very now” “I read that in Kos last year”. “Well there’s this ‘The man inside the boy’ By Nick Parsnip”. “ Sounds like a confession of a paedophile” “ No, a study of male angst. It’s a very popular subject just now” “Popular with self- obsessed males. I don’t think I fit the profile” Terry, the owner of The Pepper Tree bookshop dropped the book on the rejected pile of paperbacks. It had been a long morning; it was ten thirty and he had yet to make a sale. He’d been on all the business seminars which told him the only way a small shop could survive was by offering a personal service tailored to the customer. This meant he had to chat to the customers, which as far as he could see only slowed the sale down and confused them but there didn’t seem to be an alternative. He looked up with his selling face on,” There’s always the classics , you can’t go wrong with… “Not on holiday, no-one reads classics on holiday. You can’t swap with anyone”. Terry glanced quickly at the special offers, He knew this woman, she had become a regular, the sort of person he needed to encourage and placate but she always liked to go through the bookselling ritual and he had to play the game. “I know,” he said with forced enthusiasm,” what about…. “Wait” Sophie Bastow held up her hand. She felt confidant to do this. You only strike up this sort of intimate relationship in a small shop , it was why she liked to come here. Not for her the casual anonymity of the supermarket. And she felt she was doing her bit for the small shop. She felt comfortable to take the initiative. “Does in involve mandolins or diaries” “No” “Is it set in Tuscany. Greece or Hampstead” “No” “Or any of the London suburbs”. “Gosport and the Isle of Wight, actually”. Terry was a taken a little off guard by this. He had his patter worked out “Sex?” He nearly dropped the book “I beg your pardon?” “Is there much in the book? “Some, mostly heterosexual” “But you think it would suit me?” Terry hated that question. How the hell should he know. It was only a book, not a fitted kitchen. Sophie continued. ”You see it’s important to have the right book on holiday, there’s no telly or radio and I need some thing to take me out of myself at the moment” Sophie felt relaxed, they had struck up a rapport after all these months and she felt she could confide in him. Terry winced, she’d been a regular here for a few months now and he judged she was getting near the confiding stage, he hated that. Why do they do that? His idea of the ideal customer is one who shouts the book title through the letter box and drops the money down and waits for the book to be posted out. He wanted to nip this in the bud. “You want a book to lose yourself in, I know. This should fit the bill nicely” “You see this holiday has come at a crucial time and the book could make all the difference” Terry’s smile was nailed in place and he continued with the patter. “It’s a wonderful evocation of… “I really don’t want anything too angsty” “Very descriptive, almost elegiac in it’s… “What with work and my parents divorce.. He was getting desperate. “And it’s on special offer this month” “ I really need this holiday to re-charge……” “Actually there’s a two-for-one offer with it” “Really”, said Sophie, “I didn’t know you did that with books?” “It’s a new idea I’m trying” “What, do I get to choose another one?” Terry glared at her and thought ‘That’s shut you up you greedy bitch, why don’t I just let you loose with a supermarket trolley, he said “I’ve got a little pile here” Sophie looked at the special offers, “Like I say it’s so important to have the right book to lift my…. “Or you could just choose one” “Really, that’s very generous” “Another paperback…..at the same price”. Terry won his mental bet with himself as Sophie made straight for the self-help books. She came back quickly and handed Terry a copy of ‘Reclaiming the Orgasm’ by Tempestua Orifice’ He wrapped them up. He always maintained you could tell a lot by a person’s book choice and he felt an urgent need to get this woman out of his shop before there was any more confiding. To prevent anymore talk he discreetly turned up the music as he wrapped but she had an ace to play. She handed him a credit card. “If you’ll just put your pin in and press enter” he said as he turned the music down. “Is that offer on for long?. I must tell all my friends and get them in here”. She said. ‘Oh great’ thought Terry heaven forbid I should make a profit. “It’s just a short trial,” he said aloud. “I’ll have to be quick then”. She picked up the carrier bag. Terry said nothing but gave her a sickly grin. She turned and left the shop. If he had made any profit after giving a book away the credit card charge would eat it up. He had done it to get rid of a customer and now all her friends would be coming there expecting freebies. What sort of businessman gives his stock away? You wouldn’t find that in the business seminars. Sometimes you just have to bow to the inevitable. He went into the backroom picked up the phone “Hello is that Waterstones, It’s Terry Witton here. I’ve been thinking about the offer you made on the shop”
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