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A Cunning Plan
By brook_rivers
24 October 2006


The village had been ablaze with gossip and rumour over the last couple of days; due to the events unfolding at Nascent Manor. This had resulted in the Leg of Lamb being full to the rafters all week with the locals, who were not wanting to miss out on any new developments, swapping theories as well as firm facts with each other. Fred had been overcome with glee at the thought of his ever increasing profit margins which prompted him to concoct a plan to keep the village residents swarming to the pub of an evening.
 

Fred: [greedily rubbing his hands together] well I’m all set up for me Christmas holidays Father, so I am… so I am indeed’ he said with a chuckle.
 

‘My only problem now is deciding where to go…’
 

‘Well ye know Fred that they do some grand little deals with th’ club 18-30 holidays so they do. Ye can’t go far wrong with them my dear son’
 

‘Aye, your right there father, sounds like a fine plan to me. Just imagine it while everyone in this god-forsaken ..’
 

‘Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain now Frederick’ Father Gerard said in patronising, sarcastic manner. ‘I sometimes get the feeling that you forget who I am sometimes’
 

‘Oh yes sorry Father’ Fred said with a note of humour ringing in his voice also. ‘Please find it in that black ol’ heart of yours to give me forgiveness’
 

‘Fair enough my boy, 20 hail Mary’s and a cut of tonight’s takings should guarantee you a place at them pearly white gates, so it should.’
 

Fred and Gerry then indulge in a few minutes of dry laughter before Fred continued with his schemes:
 

‘Where was I? Oh yes, while all the inhabitants of this village, of whom I hold dear to me....’
 

‘Only some more than others, eh Fred?’ The Priest mumbled in to his dirty pint glass.
 

… ‘Yes well, while they will unfortunately be wallowing in poverty thanks to the amount of money they have managed to drink through at my pub this autumn…’
 

‘Ah be jeezus you could give Scrooge a run for his money, I’ll say’ Gerard piped up.
 

With a wicked grin Fred added ‘I’ll be enjoying me sun, sea and sangria  ...’
 

Father Gerard again interrupted his drinking partner ‘you know what though Fred this whole thing has got me a tinkin’ so it has.’
 

‘Strike me down it’s a miracle’ Fred joked.
‘Now, now listen’ t’ what I got to say because I think I just struck on a hearty idea, so I have. You do realise that the reason your pub has been packed this week is because of all the goings on up at the Manor?’
 

‘Well you don’t need to be Einstein to work that one out do you?’
 

‘No but when all the hubbub has died down so will the popularity of this little gold mine’
 

Fred looked troubled for a minute. ‘You have a point there Gerry, gossip and scandals in the Village always lead people to the pub and make me the richer for it’
 

‘Exactly my friend’
 

‘So all I need to do to insure me financial future, as it were, is to make sure this recent event is a drawn out one.’
 

‘Milk it for what it is..’
 

‘Or for what it isn’t!’ Fred said with a sly smile
 

‘Or for what it isn’t’ Father Gerard repeated
 

‘And when things eventually do come to a close all I need do is find another juicy tale to keep the Leg of Lamb at the centre of things!’
 

‘And if that should fail you could create one’ Gerard hiccupped.
 

‘I like your way of thinking your holiness, so I do’
 

‘Just make sure you donate some money to the Church fund’
 

‘For the new roof?’
 

‘No, no no!’
 

‘For the Sunday school’
 

‘Sunday school? No my dear child for the priest’s retirement fund’
 

‘Ah!’ Fred exclaimed. The landlord poured fresh drinks and they sat for a while, both in what appeared to be deep thought. In fact Father Gerard had fallen asleep, which became apparent from the deep snores emanating from him. Fred nudged his companion after he had thought his plans through.
 

‘Father you know I think I may make a few changes to this old shack’
 

Gerard grunted in a way of reply.
 

‘Yes, you’ve got me on a trail now Gerry; I’ll need to hire another set of hands behind the bar. And start a few gimmicks. I need to have some kind of… what do they call it…you know..?’
 

‘Alcohol’
 

‘No, promotions, that sort of thing. Get the punters hooked so they’ll keep coming back.
 

‘Like Big Jim’
 

‘Yes, some form of addiction....’
 

‘While you’re at it you might want to lower your prices’
 

Fred uttered some oaths at this suggestion.
 

‘Well you are losing out to the cans at the store and the post office, much cheaper you know’
 

‘Well I’ll have to do something about that then won’t I…’ Fred puzzled.
 

At this point Tanya came breezing into the bar looking extremely smug about something, at which point Fred and Gerard’s conversation came to a halt.
 

Reviews
Happy...
Written by patterjack (1069 comments posted) 24th October 2006
... to see some other activity in the Village ,  
 
I was seriously considering having Peter help with a quick clean up of the library , and then being called home to Oz. 
 
patterjack

Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 24th October 2006
I think peter has a lot more to do in the village before he goes back to oz!!! I have several ideas!! 
 
Brook :)
HI Brook
Written by jean.day (2196 comments posted) 24th October 2006
I too am pleased that you rescued the village from oblivion. We now have to wait to see what new enterprise you will come up with to keep the interest up.
Super Trooper....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 24th October 2006
Brook, I really do take my hat of to you for keping going. And such good stuff too!! This filly really does have five legs. Its just that I don't have no time to contribute. 
 
I promise... I WILL ASAP.. 
Until then, Lovely Girl... 
 
Slan!.

Written by brook_rivers (484 comments posted) 24th October 2006
will post another as soonas i have worked out my next move!!! Would love to see more developments from both of you patterjack & jean & of course gerard if you can find the time to grace us with your presence. 
 
All the best 
 
brook :)
Tanya
Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 26th October 2006
Tanya's angy again... Watch out Villagers!

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