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My compliments...
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
Very thoughtully crafted, Alan. I can forsee all the criticisms of it. As I am sure can you. But somehow it got through to me.
Thanks for a valuable few moments..
Slan! |
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
I liked it too. I'll leave criticising for others on this one.
Phil. |
Written by alandavidpritchard (57 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
thanks
a
x |
Written by shadowplay (41 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
I don't like either of your suggested titles. It almost works without one, but not quite.
I do like the poem, however, because it is funny as well as being bitter. I appreciate your dark humour. You seem to write rather candidly about homosexuality, making no excuses, and as a gay man myself I find that encouraging. Compared to other poems I have read of yours on a similar subject it has lost its reticence. There is a rawness I hadn't detected before.
The blending of humour and seriousness frees your work from the politicisation of homosexuality and its assimilation into mainstream culture. It's intelligent, but with a sexual edge. There's nothing I'd change. The swearing on the last line jarred with me a little on first and second reading, but more and more I understand it.
A compelling piece of work. No, wait- scrub that. Absolutely fantastic. |
Yuck! Does this go on???
Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
I lead a sheltered existence right enough!
Its beautifully written, but I find the subject matter so repugnant - reluctant sex, betrayal, perversion, moral decrepitude.
You won't find me toeing the current PC line.
Shit wrapped in tinsel is still shit in my book.
Oli |
Oh and....
Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
I don't wish to be rude, but "the caverns of your privacy" is probably a good place to stick this.
Oli. |
Written by JourneyAtNight (307 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
Ouch Oli!
I like your style of writing Alan, you have a frankness that is always very effective and hits the reader between the eyes, whether they like what they read or not.
I wont go off on a rant, but all in all, an interesting read.
Take care
E |
Dear God!
Written by LynB (433 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
I've just read this, and I'm afraid I'm with Oli on this one! It put me off my chocolate cake!
At the risk of being called homophobic, I must say that I also find the subject matter in rather dubious taste, and it made me feel rather uneasy.
Sorry, but it didn't float my boat. I prefer poetry with real feelings and real meaning behind it, about nature and its beauty, not stuff like this!
I'm also in agreement with Oli about where to file it..... |
Written by kitten_princess (31 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
The first time I read this, I didn't like it.
The second time, then the third, and fourth, I grew to appreciate this work.
It's not about the beauty of nature, that's obvious. I felt it was like the opposite of a love poem, in some ways. It struck a chord with me. I liked the way it was openly sexual, graphic even. I think that it's good to see a piece that challenges people, brings a bit of controversy, makes people think.
Like shadowplay, not sure about either suggestion for the title.
I think I'll have to read some more of your stuff! 
Kitten xx |
Written by alandavidpritchard (57 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
i am just stunned that people have taken time and effort to respond to this work..simply because it is a piece I wrote long ago and thought little of...(despite taking a while to compose) AND i am truly grateful for all the responses this poem has generated...i have no problem if the words touch a raw nerve or make people feel uncomfortable...i have a friend who is being used by someone unsure about their sexuality, and when i read the poem to him, he responded with "that's exactly what it feels like" - which was good to hear because the poem is not nor ever has been autobiographically inspired...the opening line occured to me while stuffing a chicken! lol
thanks again for the responses |
Written by alandavidpritchard (57 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
oh and oli..if shit wrapped in tinsel is still shit in your book....change the book
x |
Not a crit .
Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
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I got interrupted before I sent !
Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
Again , this is not a review . I was merely going to remark that I am now , after the last comment with its explanation of its inspiration , irresistibly reminded of Portnoy's liver dinner , and Isherwood's Greek cook and the chicken .
patterjack
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Very drole ADP!
Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 26th October 2006 |
I somewhat regret the bluntness of my first review, not much though.
I think you got the jist i.e. that the subject matter does "matter" to me - regardless of the attractiveness of the words themselves.
PJ, I presume these references refer to the contamination of food in some sexual way. I presume these masterpieces are not to be found in the highstreet bookstore?
Oli. |
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