|
My compliments... Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
Very thoughtully crafted, Alan. I can forsee all the criticisms of it. As I am sure can you. But somehow it got through to me. Thanks for a valuable few moments.. Slan! |
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
I liked it too. I'll leave criticising for others on this one. Phil. |
Written by alandavidpritchard (57 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
thanks a x |
Written by shadowplay (41 comments posted) 24th October 2006 |
I don't like either of your suggested titles. It almost works without one, but not quite. I do like the poem, however, because it is funny as well as being bitter. I appreciate your dark humour. You seem to write rather candidly about homosexuality, making no excuses, and as a gay man myself I find that encouraging. Compared to other poems I have read of yours on a similar subject it has lost its reticence. There is a rawness I hadn't detected before. The blending of humour and seriousness frees your work from the politicisation of homosexuality and its assimilation into mainstream culture. It's intelligent, but with a sexual edge. There's nothing I'd change. The swearing on the last line jarred with me a little on first and second reading, but more and more I understand it. A compelling piece of work. No, wait- scrub that. Absolutely fantastic. |
Yuck! Does this go on??? Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
I lead a sheltered existence right enough! Its beautifully written, but I find the subject matter so repugnant - reluctant sex, betrayal, perversion, moral decrepitude. You won't find me toeing the current PC line. Shit wrapped in tinsel is still shit in my book. Oli |
Oh and.... Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
I don't wish to be rude, but "the caverns of your privacy" is probably a good place to stick this. Oli. |
Written by JourneyAtNight (307 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
Ouch Oli! I like your style of writing Alan, you have a frankness that is always very effective and hits the reader between the eyes, whether they like what they read or not. I wont go off on a rant, but all in all, an interesting read. Take care E |
Dear God! Written by LynB (433 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
I've just read this, and I'm afraid I'm with Oli on this one! It put me off my chocolate cake! At the risk of being called homophobic, I must say that I also find the subject matter in rather dubious taste, and it made me feel rather uneasy. Sorry, but it didn't float my boat. I prefer poetry with real feelings and real meaning behind it, about nature and its beauty, not stuff like this! I'm also in agreement with Oli about where to file it..... |
Written by kitten_princess (31 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
The first time I read this, I didn't like it. The second time, then the third, and fourth, I grew to appreciate this work. It's not about the beauty of nature, that's obvious. I felt it was like the opposite of a love poem, in some ways. It struck a chord with me. I liked the way it was openly sexual, graphic even. I think that it's good to see a piece that challenges people, brings a bit of controversy, makes people think. Like shadowplay, not sure about either suggestion for the title. I think I'll have to read some more of your stuff! Kitten xx |
Written by alandavidpritchard (57 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
i am just stunned that people have taken time and effort to respond to this work..simply because it is a piece I wrote long ago and thought little of...(despite taking a while to compose) AND i am truly grateful for all the responses this poem has generated...i have no problem if the words touch a raw nerve or make people feel uncomfortable...i have a friend who is being used by someone unsure about their sexuality, and when i read the poem to him, he responded with "that's exactly what it feels like" - which was good to hear because the poem is not nor ever has been autobiographically inspired...the opening line occured to me while stuffing a chicken! lol thanks again for the responses |
Written by alandavidpritchard (57 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
oh and oli..if shit wrapped in tinsel is still shit in your book....change the book x |
Not a crit . Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
|
I got interrupted before I sent ! Written by patterjack (1095 comments posted) 25th October 2006 |
Again , this is not a review . I was merely going to remark that I am now , after the last comment with its explanation of its inspiration , irresistibly reminded of Portnoy's liver dinner , and Isherwood's Greek cook and the chicken . patterjack |
Very drole ADP! Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 26th October 2006 |
I somewhat regret the bluntness of my first review, not much though. I think you got the jist i.e. that the subject matter does "matter" to me - regardless of the attractiveness of the words themselves. PJ, I presume these references refer to the contamination of food in some sexual way. I presume these masterpieces are not to be found in the highstreet bookstore? Oli. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.