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Poetry
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(intimate)
Written by PaulaBrown
06 March 2005
A piece about running from intimacy

February Sunday sleet:
in smooth, white sheets,
I'll picture you battling
adrenaline; dark, mellow
contrast in endless eyes
pulling me close (shut
out the World) eyes squeezed
tight, deep-breathing, released
only for water, and a memory
branded white-hot as you pause,
naked (for me) in the doorway.

Shaken, stupid, overcome: I run.

Reviews
Intense
Written by spiderbaby49 (137 comments posted) 30th March 2005
This is the sort of poetry I like. Words that reach out and tug something within. 
 
spidey
picking nits
Written by ailbhe (6 comments posted) 26th April 2005
Yes, this has a lot of substance. Just a few nitpicks:  
Why the capital W in World I wonder? As a general rule, random capital letters annoy me. Then again, in this case, it makes some (I assume unintentional) association in my mind with the Word (as in the Word of God - or Paddy Kavanagh's "bird collecting materials for a nest for the Word.")which could be an interesting path to explore.  
My only other gripe is the pairing of words that seem automatically to go together, like "smooth, white" - you could use more exciting adjectives. 
Those are minor comments. On the whole I think this is very, very good.
Intimate Piece
Written by Jx (11 comments posted) 26th April 2005
Terrible play on words there, haha, but it was exactly that: an intimate piece (!). 
 
I agree with the latter point made by ailbhe above. The pairing of words serves to quicken the pace (since the mind has already associated and anticipates the second word). However, an interesting introduction would be substituting the second word with one that is almost antonymous to what you would expect to find. It could fit in well with the theme of running from intimacy and, in the case of the speaker, what you know is "right". 
 
Jx
Excellent
Written by deprecor (6 comments posted) 8th June 2005
I was browsing throught the poems and I wanted to see the first poem of GW. I was amazed by the quality of the piece I found. 
 
To all GW writers: "(intimate)" is an excellent work, a worth-reading, and delighting piece. It's one of the best poems I have found in GW! Intimate, deep and quivering. 
 
Well done Mrs. Brown! 
 
Deprecator

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