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| Wacky Jill-Bag lady | |
| By BrianRobertNeal | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25 October 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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It's turning into a play. Wacky Jill.-Bag Lady. Thursday morning Jackie was up showered and dressed by 6.10. No make-up, hair dried and pinned into a bun and wearing a frumpy jumper and her drabbest trouser suit, she crept down the stairs and started cooking Breakfast. At 6.15 Jayne came into the kitchen and was told, “Sit down I’m doing breakfast today.” Jayne looked at her mother and laughed, “There’s no halfway house with you is there, yesterday you looked fantastic and today you look like a Bag Lady.” “Oh Jayne there’s no pleasing some is there.” Jackie served up breakfast then sat down with her daughter. “Mum I’ve something to ask you. “I know, you are going to ask me if you can get engaged to Harry’s Boy on your Sixteenth Birthday.” “Mum, how did you know that?” “Well, Harry’s Boy asked Harry. Harry asked Mrs.C who said yes and then told everyone in the Village.” “So, can I Mum?” “Jayne give me ten good reasons why I should say yes.” “Well it would make me very happy.” “One” “I would make Harry’s Boy very happy,” “Two” It would make Harry very happy and he might stop mooning about over your. “Three” “An engagement in this household would be a novel event” “four” “It could well lead to a marriage, very unusual in this household.” “Five, I’d watch yourself young lady.” “Any children born would be in wedlock” “You saucey little Madam” “Yes, but who do I get it from” “Six” “Mrs.C can buy a new party frock and fancy hat. “And bore the Village about it, 7.” “We can have a big fancy party and Harry’ll pay for it. “Eight” “Mum I’m stuck, as you used to say when you were learning your lines for the Village Panto-Prompt.” “Nine, it would make me very happy, Harry’s Boy’s a little cracker and I’m very fond of him. “Oh Mum you’re rotten tease.” “Jayne I wanted Ten so, it will be so much easier for me to “Mother” Harry’s Boy. Since we came to the Village Ten Years ago, the Boy and I have been very close. I’ve been like a Mum to him. Who do you think he asked first? Me, of course. I said if that’s what Jayne wants then the answer’s yes. So that’s Ten. “Mum he never told me” “But then I never told you.” Jayne started laughing, “I’m just imagining Mrs.C’s new party frock and fancy hat. Mum you must go with her and help her choose. Do you remember her green and black striped dress, she looked like a marrow. Jackie added, “And the hat with all the fruit on it, she looked like a Green Grocers Stall. Right, I’m off, you can do the washing up. And off she went. She left at 6.50 and got to Rob’s house at 8.10. “Come in, I hope you’re not going to put in for overtime or time in lieu. Talking about time in Loo, the downstairs’ one is just there, I’ll make us coffee.” Jackie used the facility and almost burst out laughing when she saw herself in the mirror over the sink. She joined Rob in the kitchen. Rob burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?” “You Jackie, on Tuesday you looked a smart business woman, on Wednesday you looked a siren.” Jackie interrupted-“That’s nice, going on about my nose.” “What?” “Siren, hooter!” “Jackie you know what I meant, you looked like a woman who would lure a man to his doom. “Could I lure you to your doom?” “Most probably, but today you look like, ehm, err” “My daughter said I looked like a bag lady” “Yes but a very elegant bag lady. I bet you’ve got a dab of Meths behind each ear, and a splash of dry cleaning fluid on each wrist. “How would you like to see me?” “I think in pink with auburn fur edgings,” “What if I’m clean shaven?” They both blushed and Rob suggested, “You have a look at the Survey Requests and related Docs and I’ll make the Coffee. Whilst his back was turned, she took off her jacket took of her jumper under which was a very sultry top. She then took out the pins and shook her hair down. When Rob turned back with the Coffees, she asked him, “Is that better” “Yes, but you could come dressed in sacking and still be beautiful.” “Right Rob, now to business, we’re visiting a Steeple Jack’s in the morning and in the afternoon, a Restaurant housed in the old Malden East Station Building. They continued discussing the cases until 8.45 when they got up and drove off to Malden. At about 9 Jackie suddenly realised that her jacket and Jumper were on the kitchen table. She told Rob, but it was now too late to turn back. Rob’s only comment was, “It could be worse you could have left your trousers there”. “No way Rob, I’m not that forgetful.” “Or me that lucky”, but Rob kept that thought to himself.
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