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By patterjack
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27 October 2006 |
Three of these made up the germ of the sonnet x-y=0 , while two of the other three were images that belonged to other poems.
This time it worked , due to the efforts of an internet angel, whose setting out of a past group I slavishly copied .
Only three more to go , folks ! Haiku Preludes To x-y = 0 and other poems
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1. |
2. |
| a. |
One world surrounds us
the domain of integers
what is our total? |
I feel the soft touch
of the mist’s gentle tendrils
on face hands and hair. |
| b. |
Then when you were here
addition brought completion
one with one was one. |
Bending and swaying
black flames along rose pink walls:
Shadows of dancers. |
| c. |
Now that you are gone
subtraction brings nullity
one , less one , is none |
Heavy with power
they sweep across the mountains.
Striding steel pylons. |
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Interesting...
Written by ellipinnock (1786 comments posted) 27th October 2006 | To see where the sonnet came from-it was a good choice of form for that concept. I love the second set of these...small pedantic moment- typo in 2c line 2 and should 2a line 2 have another syllable?
Putting the pedant back in its box the second set are truly beautiful.
Elli |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 27th October 2006 | Both sets wonderful. Set two is beautiful, but set one sums up one person's life and truly moves me.
Before I started reading your haikus, I thought they were just verbal gymnastics, but now I can see their beauty and validity as a means of comunicating.
You have a convert.
All the best,
Phil. | thanks all
Written by patterjack (1433 comments posted) 27th October 2006 | Yep , Elli , two typos -- but it were the complications of formatting wot done it !
Will fix it
Thanks again , all -- it was fun , but I have sworn me an oath-- even if I compose another haiku ( as one does in one's head now and then , if only to fill the void and to compete with the limericks ) I will not write them down nor post them !
patterjack |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 27th October 2006 | I took one look at that equation -- the dread M-word (m-a-t-h) -- and almost bolted. Now I am glad I persevered!
For some reason, my favorite one is the one that features steel pylons. I would not have thought that I could enjoy a haiku about power lines, but there you are -- I did.
What is wrong with writing and posting haikus? Have I missed something here? |
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