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Poetry


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Spleen

By Talisker

02 November 2006

I used to enjoy the act of donating blood. Another small sacrament denied by fate, or bad living.

Oli.

No longer can you take my blood,
It froths with chemicals,
To be handled with care,
Corrupted.

Neither can you have my eyes.
Why would you want
To wear these optical crutches?

You cannot have my liver,
I played with it too rough,
And broke it in the end,
It is done.

You cannot have a kidney,
I made them work too hard,
I suppose I took the piss.

But you may have my spleen,
With foul vapours,
And bile replete.

Take it.

Oli (02/11/06)

Reviews

Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 2nd November 2006

Powerful stuff, the ending especially - it sort of just pounces on you.

I also like your "took the piss" with the kidney - clever.
:grin

I won't say too much as it seems to be too personal a subject, but another great piece which I liked very much!

Take care

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd November 2006

But what about your heart? Lungs you may leave out, ditto for hair -- most people don't know that you can donate that -- but your heart? Now there is a missed opportunity!

Sorry Witzl...
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 2nd November 2006

Don't even go there!

Its been broken too many times, is bitter, twisted and cold. I'd pity the poor soul who got that!

Oli :roll

Written by Phil (6738 comments posted) 2nd November 2006

Very much with Journey At Night on the end. It does pounce on you. Had I forgotten the title, which I often do, this would have really got me.

Effective, very well written, liked very much.

Your heart - don't condemn that. You've written enough to show you've plenty of heart.

All the best,

Phil.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 3rd November 2006

I agree with Phil here: your secret is out -- you have plenty of heart. And I would add that a much-used, beaten up old heart is far better to have than none at all.

As for the blood, the last time I went to donate I saw them turn down a stout , rosy-cheeked 60-year-old woman who'd confessed to having taken one baby aspirin ten hours earlier. No question about it -- they're strict about the chemicals. But that doesn't necessarily mean you'll never donate blood again.

nice...
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 6th November 2006

love the irony. It seems you've been singled out as a bit of a softie, possibly not your intention

however a great poem.

clo x

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