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For Children
Plough Your Own Furrow
By twriter
28 May 2005

This is a first draft of a poem, that I have just knocked off, for those young people who have, like a lot of people in my area, just finished their Work Experience. Any advice about this piece would be wonderful, before it is published locally.  


Plough Your Own Furrow

 

In times gone by your average little boy

would want to be an engine driver

playing with his toy,

But now he plays at football,

he runs with both his feet

and the girl who once made dresses

works as a high powered manager

and holds confrences in Crete.

 

Never was it more apparent

than in the world of work

how things have turned quite upside down,

We must give ourselves a jerk.

For now we must fight harder

to be noticed, to be heard,

as no longer can we just survive

on the good old printed word.

 

So as we leave our homes behind

and take our premiere steps,

As we go off to work with actors,

shop assistants, engineers or travel reps.

We see this is the future -

a taste of things to come.

some of us find grey clouds and

some of us find sun.

 

So now we've had our taster

and know what we might achieve.

We have our role models,

"Oh, we could be like Steve!"

So now we'll back to our lives

with an idea of what's around

but we know we won't get anywhere if

we don't make a sound.

 

In this life it is quite true

that people don't do things for you,

You have to do them for yourself

‘til, in the end, achieve your wealth.

This can be anything,

Not just jeans or the jewels of Kings

It can be whatever you want,

Just be happy with what you've got.

Reviews

Written by richard (88 comments posted) 1st June 2005
The once comment would be that there are almost too many ideas in here that don't necessarily connect completely within the piece - what I mean is that the poem goes from the changing roles of men and women in the workplace, through the need to shout to be heard, through the fact that all will have different levels of success, through the role model issue, through to what the value of life is anyway....it is a lot for a poem - especially aimed at 15/16 yr olds I guess. 
 
I would be tempted to make it simpler, and maybe stick to a single message on the lines of what I think is what you intended from the title which is that you should do what is right for you and if it doesn't deliver traditional rewards then so what....as long as you're doing something that makes you happy. There is almost too much in there for the message to come out clearly. 
 
You did ask for comment ;-) I hope this helps. I think you have enough in there for four or five poems as each message could be expanded to be a piece on its own. 
 
Hope this makes sense. I think it's nicely written and the messages are good ones, so pls take comments as an attempt for me to be constructive and help. 
 
Hope they help...(although I should warn you that it could always be that I can be a bit thick at times...) 
Richard

Written by marysusan (3 comments posted) 5th June 2005
I loved the title even though there wasn't much in the poem about farming jobs.  
 
The idea and theme is a good one for kids but I agree with simplifing it a little but they should have no trouble in following it. 

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