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Poetry
A body
By no1butClo
06 November 2006
I had an idea for a piece of video art [think I was on the train at the time] and this was the result - I'm no artist.

I think it loses momentum in the middle, could do with some clearing up?

A body,
Wrapped in ropes wrapped in the
seeds and burrs, the desperate dregs of a
distant summer

Strung twixt trees, just inches above
masses of dead leaves
still but seething with detritous life.
A funny contradiction.

The trees,
Wrenched and coiled and twisted with age.
Leaning to somewhere, reaching
for something they wanted, once.
The sun is gone.

Ivy was stealthy, crept round the roots
and trailed past a trunk...wondering...
then she got bored, shot up their bark
twirling her way through the gnarlings and gaps.

The hosts grew forlorn and surrendered.

Seems impossible; the work of
such delicate fingertips - two skeletons, stripped.
They gave up fighting along with the ghost.

And beneath the rags of these forgotten soldiers
flesh stirs, sleeping perhaps, but
they guard in vain.

'Tis the insects that creep and
eat up the deadening flesh
as it crawls twixt the ropes
that wrap it, wrapped in seeds,

and is greedily met
by other mouths to feed.

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 6th November 2006
I would not touch this -- it works for me just the way it is.  
 
I love the images of ivy eating up trees, and the trees '(growing) forlorn and (surrendering).' The description of ivy's work as 'the work of / such delicate fingertips' is fine. 
 
 
 

Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 6th November 2006
We all seem in Autumnal mood, not surprising I suppose it has something to do with the time of year ;)  
 
I found this to be good in parts, less so in others - a bit discombobulated.  
 
Some nice imagery, a few clumsy stumbles (for me) where I had to retrieve my false-teeth. Worthy of the read, but not your best. 
 
Oli

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 7th November 2006
I'm with Oli on this one, I thought there were some really lovely parts to this poem and some which were a tad clumsy. Really interesting idea though. 
 
Elli

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