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Poetry
Empty Sighs
By tasteslike_cacophony
08 November 2006
This comes at face value, I like to think.




.:.
and clear evidence would be found
that she used to reside here
mascara on all the pillows
breath marks on all the panes
and lost earring backs
and they would say
that whatever catcher trapped her dreams
was efficent
in masacuring her hope
the walls would speak of distant cries
and verbal tombs
close her in, and close her in
remind the world what it was like before the concious
young one, remind us
what it is like to delve into a being
it's a jump taken in vein
for unlike cliffhangers,
there is no one here
to hear you when you hit rock bottom.
.:.


Reviews

Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 7th November 2006
Masacuring???????? taken in "vein" ?????? 
 
Either careless, or more unlikely, excessive poetic licence. 
 
Doesn't do it for me at all. Sorry. 
 
Regards 
 
Oli :)

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 8th November 2006
I sort of understand it.. but what does "masacuring" mean? possibly, massacre....? 
 
-rilLie
Nice...
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 8th November 2006
Apart from the few hiccups mentioned above, I thought this was good piece with some effective imagery that worked well for me. 
 
Take care :)  
 
J.A.N

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