Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Verse verses reality
Poetry
Verse verses reality
09 November 2006
I don't know what this is. I generally hate using the first person in my writing but hmph it's appeared in this one. A few people have corrected my spelling of 'verses' above but it isn't meant to be 'versus'
Enjoy...I hope

i think in verse
can converse and
smile. and
nod.

but ultimately i think in
verse

i try and rhyme
and think in time
i try and talk
and walk and talk
but ultimately
i think in verse
dont want  converse
or smile.
or
nod.

a word too many
obsessively hurts
a word too few
means minds are working
i cant construct a
sentence
and i cant construct a
clause but i can give you
a fucking good rhyme
and a fucking good verse
and a fucking good fucking.

i think in verse
i act in verse

ultimately

Reviews
OK
Written by ellipinnock (1816 comments posted) 9th November 2006
Well, i thought that 'fucking good fucking' was thrown in a bit for the sake of it. For me, anyway, it didn't add anything to the poem. A good starting point but I thought you could have explored the idea a bit more originality-it trod a bit close to cliche in places for me. Sorry to be so negative, others may disagree. 
 
Elli

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 10th November 2006
Not me I'm afraid. Perhaps I've missed something, but I endorse all of above. Sorry.  
 
Phil.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item