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Poetry
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The Caped Gooseberry
By Talisker
10 November 2006
Just a bit of fun to lighten things.

The Caped Gooseberry

A hero sent to save us,
From our canoodling ways,
He’s green and he’s hairy,
He’s keen and he’s wary,
So watch where your hand strays!

When mum and dad are shopping,
Your girlfriend comes around,
You’ve gone too far for stopping,
You’re rolling on the ground!

Tada! He’s there right at the door,
His cape flies in the wind,
He knows your bad,
He bets you’re glad,
He’s there to stop you sin!

You’re sitting on a park bench,
The birds are singing sweet,
Her kisses rain upon your neck,
You tingle to your feet.

Tada! He’s there as in a flash,
“Is this seat free” he asks,
He always tries harder,
To dampen your ardour,
With sandwiches and flask.

You’re in the movie theatre,
Surely now’s the time,
Your strong arms pull her nearer,
Her perfume smells sublime.

Tada! He’s there upon the screen!
The size of fifty men!
He’s green and he’s mean,
He’s up on the screen!
You’re foiled once again!

So now you’re slumping in a heap,
Relief cannot be found,
He’s green and he’s mean,
You’ll do nothing obscene,
When the Caped Gooseberry’s around.

Oli 10/11/06

Reviews
Ha Ha - Very True
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 10th November 2006
I have met him/her! But she had a shaggy coat and a wet nose. You try to have a canoodle on the settee and very soon your four-legged friend will try to get in between. But how do you cope with two of them? ha ha They are the best protector any girl can have - grrrrrr!

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 10th November 2006
Never met him Oli - thank god. Although kids try bloody hard to put a halt to any of that kind of thing. I think they have a sixth sense. Little buggers. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.

Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 10th November 2006
never met him either. :grin
I grew a cape gooseberry
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 11th November 2006
Its a tropical fruit which tastes orangey, and comes in a little leafy "envelope" - very strange.  
 
So I thought cape gooseberry, why not "caped gooseberry"  
 
Super heros wear capes, gooseberries are the odd one in a group who spoils the fun. Thats it. I don't know why I explained this, I'm sure everyone "go it". No? 
 
Oli :grin
:)
Written by B.D. (82 comments posted) 11th November 2006
love it! love that there's a little "secret" to the name :)
This definitely brings back memories...
Written by Jonaus (11 comments posted) 24th September 2008
"The Caped Gooseberry" was all too prevalent in my life, especially during my early married life at college. Whenever I tried to create a special atmosphere or take my newlywed wife out for a special meal or to the cinema, a certain friend of hers would always somehow find a way to join in! Because he had so few friends himself, I felt obliged to allow the poor, pathetic sap to come along or enjoy our company. 
 
Sadly, he was probably one of the many reasons that led to such an early demise to my marriage after just three years, but perhaps that's such a testament to this poem, that it managed to put a smile on my face just thinking about that old situation! 
 
In summary, this is a fantastically lighthearted poem very worthy of its rave reviews! :)

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