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Shorts
Captive
By peeano1
11 November 2006
This just came to me when I was practicing on my piano...

  Wearily, she reached for the key but the raven swooped down and flew away with it.
  "No! Come back!" she yelled.
  That was her last hope for survival and now she was at lost. It had been three weeks since she had been held captive on a strange island. She had never seen her captors but only caught sight of their shadows. They seemed to be very large creatures with sharp canines. Shuddering, Alice huddled to a corner of her cell and waited. Any time now, her food would be brought up.
  After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, her eyes began to close slightly. Suddenly, a small scraping noise sounded and instantly, her eyes flickered open. Looking around, she could not find who was making it. Crawling forward, she tried to make out the shadow that appeared before her.
  "Who are you?" she whispered hoarsely.
  The shadow didn't answer but it didn't flee.
  "I said who are you?"
  Still, it wouldn't answer but continued to draw closer and closer to her. Backing away, Alice could see its fangs gleaming in the moonlight. Horrified, she struggled to back away but at once, she was mesmerized by its bright eyes. Her limbs failed to respond to her constant command to move.
  "I will die today", she thought.
  As the creature began to approach her, Alice could observe that this creature had the face of a man but one not of a mere mortal. He had exotic eyes that slightly slanted and a straight nose. His mouth spoke of danger and his eyes told of death.
  She whimpered at the sight of this stranger. Certainly, he could mercilessly kill a human in a single swipe. Her cell opened and the stranger slipped in. By now, he was just standing no more than 2 feet from her.
  He crouched down low and crawled closer and closer until his face was just inches apart from Alice. He stared at her pale face and reached out to touch a lock of her dark hair. Her lips quivered as he gently stroked her hair.
  "Do not fear, female", he said. His voice was like rich velvet and sleek silk.
  As she tried to avert her gaze from his eyes, his hand caught her chin and turned her to face him.
  "Look at me", he whispered.
  Hestitantly, Alice looked up. His face looked very lethal and frightening. But as he tried to soften up a bit, she could recognize his gentle side. Yes, he could pass as attractive but handsome, she wasn't sure.
  "What do you feel, female?"
  A bit scared, no words could come out of her mouth.
  "What do you feel, female?", he repeated.
  "I feel scared and lost. I feel as if my heart could become cold and desolate and soon rip to pieces. I feel as if my world has been taken away from me. I feel-"
  His fingers covered her lips and she stopped. During her time in the cell, she felt her sanity dropping further and further down the scale. How long were these creatures intending to keep her?
  "I understand how you feel, female. It happens to everybody here."
  "How can you understand, vampire? You and your other fellow vampires have been capturing and devouring those who are weaker than you! How can you feel?" Her anger exploded and she struggled to remain calm.
  He paused a moment. "I may not understand how you particularly feel but I can understand from experience. Remember that we were just like you once in our lifetime."
  Alice stared at him. His tone sounded very honest when he said that but she couldn't really trust his words. After all, he might as well be one of the rest of the deceiving vampires.
  "Go away. My happiness has been taken away from me. My family has been taken away from me. And my entire life has been a life full of lies. Just go, vampire. I don't need you any longer."
  The vampire observed the female's struggle to contemplate on the events that happened during the three weeks. Surely, if she could know why she was being held captive, at least she would understand. For now, every vampire in the world believed that she was the daughter of the great and mighty vampire, Alec Navir. He shook his head. She should know sooner or later.

Reviews
Interesting
Written by Fledermaus (3483 comments posted) 13th November 2006
An interesting piece, but it leaves me wondering. Of course your Vampires have their own methods, but, if she's such an important person, why do they treat her like this? 
 
It's a nicely written story, but it somehow felt like it was only the beginning of a larger story. Sort of a first episode.
Strange -
Written by Josie (2844 comments posted) 14th November 2006
How you can be practising your piano and thinking about vampires at the same time? Is there a connection? You have written a piece which demands that the reader read on and on. But I feel like Fledmaus that this was part of a whole story. Perhaps we should wait for your next piano practice for the inspiration to continue to the end. Looking forward with anticipation - Josie

Written by ellipinnock (1784 comments posted) 14th November 2006
I thought this was quite a strong piece from you although I'm not so keen on vampire stuff as a rule. I thought it was more sophisticated than some of your other pieces as you muddy the waters more. 
 
This appears to have two of the same characters as your other vamp piece yet be contradictory. Are they supposed to fit together or are you just playing with the idea? 
 
Elli

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