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Poetry
Willard
By peeano1
13 November 2006
I'm not so sure on this poem.....


“Willard”, I cried.

His name was like no other.

I remember how he always reminded me of a willow tree.

Some days, we would discuss that someday he would become of one.

Then, he would shrug and said, “Let it be” and we talked of it no more.

I never realized how much to this day that I would love my Willard.

It was strange to say that he would ever enter into me.

From his dangly legs to his glassy eyes

This Willard was not meant to be

Then one day he came up to me

Smiling in his charming crooked smile

He gazed into my eyes

“Annalisa”, he whispered

“Will you come with me?”

Teasingly I hit his shoulder

“Now why would you want me to come with you?”

“Because I have something to show you”, he responded.

Curiously, I followed and then he spun around

And held my shoulders firm as steel

Streaks of sunlight paled on his face

He looked more godlike than ever

Bowing his head down, his lips found mine and kissed me

We stood to the edge of time and then he let go

Walking to the turn of sunlight and turning what I never thought to be

But a willow

Reviews
Oh dear.
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 13th November 2006
Not poetry for me. Prose written out "like" poetry. 
 
Worse still, the subject matter is pure poppycock!  
Willow indeed. Even without my medication I wouldn't write such nonsense, Pomegranate. 
 
Oli

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 13th November 2006
Definitely too prosy...and left me fairly bewildered. If you're going to run with this one you need to make a conscious effort not just to write prose with funny line spacings! I liked some of the ideas but you need to have a good hack at it and be a bit ruthless about all the superfluous stuff. Didn't do it for me at all I'm afraid. 
 
Elli

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