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Poetry
Living On The Streets
By oxy
02 June 2005

Every tramp, drug addict, alcoholic must have a tale to tell.


Its pouring rain and freezing cold,
these city streets aren't paved with gold,
I'm sleeping rough and growing old,
and "move along" I'm getting told,
by a friendly policeman.

Haven't had a bite to eat,
frostbite fingers, blistered feet,
people passing on the street,
as I look for shelter.

why did I leave why did we split,
should have made a go of it,
all my fault I now admit,
I cheated on my dearest.

Don't pity me as you walk by,
just take a look and wonder why,
how I wish that I would die,
no more living on the streets.

 


 

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Written by kevinrobson73 (371 comments posted) 6th June 2005
could lose the 
"by a friendly policeman" line 
then you'd have 4 4 line stanzas 
 
suggest ain't instead of aren't might help it scan 
 
changes 
frostbite to frostbitten 
then shelter to any retreat 
 
i should  
cheated on my (name) specially if it rhymes with it 
 
last line -needs to be stronger - 
suggest -something like line 3 last verse my lifes ambitions passed me by 
then make line 3 line 4  
lose last line 
 
i hope this is helpful

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