"No son. For GBH you need serious injuries like broken bones, something that results in a time in hospital. A bloody mouth would be at best ABH (Actual Bodily Harm). But it would be pointless, because I would just say you had walked into a door. Who are they going to believe, you or me?"
"I would have Mum as a witness."
"Do you think that I would ever be stupid enough to hit you in front of Mum? Besides, I have far more subtle methods. If you annnoy me I'd wait until you're asleep, pick my nose and wipe it all over your face."
"You couldn't, because I'd wake up. I always wake up when someone comes into my room. Besides, I sleep face down. You couldn't get to it."
So this morning he came out of the bathroom and said to Mum, "Look what someone has done to me." And showed her a smiley face neatly drawn in felt tip on his forehead.
"Who did that to you?"
"I don't know. It must have been one of my friends. Maybe it was Corey." (He had spent most of the afternoon with his friend Corey).
"How is that possible and you not notice?"
"I don't know."
It was only when I greeted him with "Hello Smiler" that the penny dropped.
"It was YOU!"
"It could not possibly be me, son. You would have woken up. Besides, how could I get to your face?"
How can a son of mine be so stupid as not to have sussed me out from the beginning? He should have realised what was going to happen the moment we had our conversation. I think Er Indoors has some serious questions to answer.
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