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Non-Fiction
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| Diary of a Bacchanal Part 6 | |
| By Talisker | ||||||||||||||||
| 19 November 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
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Johnnie asked, so here it is... Diary of a Bacchanal Part 6 So here I am. In all my imperfection, promises broken to Weasel, to you, but most importantly, to myself. What doesn’t kill us, someone said, makes us stronger. Perhaps sometimes, but the alcohol I’ve consumed in the past three days or so (no more than my usual quota), has left me feeling weaker. Spiritually and physically damaged, the self pity is involuntary, chronic and debilitating. Not a great basis for a “second” try. But I know I must. The margins of failure are slight. I spoke to Weasel this morning about that. Why should what is on the television be a factor, for example? It’s about habituation. I remember when this phase of my drinking life started. It would probably be unfair to blame the producers of the populist archaeology program “Time Team” – but there I was, every night, with the wine well chilled, gulping it down with Tony Robinson’s inane witticisms, professor Pat Pending, Noddy Holder and even nice, short clad, flimsy T-shirted female student diggers for sex interest. Perfect, pseudo-intellectual, stimulating in so many ways, unchallenging, and all washed down with a nice cold white wine. Poor art and entertainment, which almost all television is, goes down a little easier with alcohol. You can see funny angles that don’t occur without the receptors being dimmed a bit. It’s not all been bad either. I remember the doctor said to me several years ago – “your liver is very resilient” – I could have leapt for joy, but I had misconstrued her meaning. I thought she meant I had a “super liver” and could drink with impunity. I actually said – “what doctor, mine in particular?” No, the comment related to the organ, and not specifically mine. In other words, you have to kick it a lot before it refuses to get up again. But when that does happen, your prognosis isn’t very good, short of a transplant, and even then… However, let’s not dwell on the negative. So far as I know, I’m not yet beyond redemption mentally, physically or spiritually. The battle can yet be rejoined. Oli 13/11/06
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