In view of the olympics coming to the capital, perhaps we should do out bit for the games

Many find commuting in the City of London to be a boring experience. It is illegal to talk to, make eye contact with or acknowledge the existence of anyone on public transport, unless it involves the use of a mobile phone. Walking through the streets no-one lifts their eyes from their feet for fear of being mistaken for a tourist.

Not me! Each day is an adventure in alternative sports. Presently I am the sole competitor, ensuring that I am usually placed at least third in each event.

Some of the sports you can play:

Now you see me

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In amongst the black suits, spot the Steven Segal wannabe, walking through the crowd wearing a combat jacket. The idea of this sport is to deliberately bump into the man in camouflage, feign surprise and say, "Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you!"

There is an extreme sport version, substituting the pedestrian with the ex-army vehicle that has been painted up in camouflage, sporting netting and jerry cans for posing at the weekends with their Segal wannabe friends. Warning, this can severely damage your no claims bonus.

Nonchalant 100 metre sprint

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Wait till the bus stops at the bus stop 100 metres away. Sprint towards it. As it pulls away slow down, affect a nonchalant walk and try to look as though you never wanted to catch the bus in the first place.

Taxi Wave

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Hail a taxi by raising your arm. As it stops wave your arm and shout to someone on the other side of the street, "John, John, over here, it’s me"

Car Park Queue

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Return to the car parked at the shopping centre. Open the boot and load your bags. Spend some time rummaging around in the bags. Open the driver’s door and sit in the seat. Rummage around in the glove compartment. Get out the door and lock up the car. Return to the shops. Points scored are void if you make eye contact with the driver of the car that has been waiting in the aisle for 10 minutes in the belief that you were going to vacate your parking space.

Tag

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Touch someone on the arm and shout, "Tag, you’re it. Chase me." then run. Points lost if you know the other person.

Don’t Follow My Leader

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Stop someone in the street and yell, "Stop following me!" Extra points can be scored if the person was walking in the opposite direction to you in the first place.

I’ve forgotten something Mime

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Walk down the street, remember something you have left behind, return to collect it. Of course, if you just do that, people will just assume you are crazy, so you must mime an explanation. A basic mime routine will consist of you stopping suddenly, turning out your pockets, slapping your forehead with your open hand, shaking your head with a wry smile as if to say "A good job my head is screwed on", check that you have remembered to screw your head on, point apologetically the way you came from, then return. Points awarded for interpretation and technique.